Have Gun - Will Travel

Season 5 Episode 34

Cream of the Jest

Aired Saturday 9:30 PM May 05, 1962 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
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Episode Summary

Cream of the Jest
Paladin is not amused when he runs afoul of a practical joker in Santa Fe. He is sympathetic, however, when the joker's wife asks for his help. She fears that her husband's constant jokes will end up getting him killed.

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    Catherine McLeod

    Catherine McLeod

    Nora Musgrave

    Guest Star

    Peter Brocco

    Peter Brocco

    Young Husband

    Guest Star

    Naomi Stevens

    Naomi Stevens

    Mrs. Kafka

    Guest Star

    Kam Tong

    Kam Tong

    Hey Boy

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (6)

      • Paladin: The jest that gives no pain is no jest."
        Dr. Jonas: Cervantes. That and five cents will buy you a glass of beer.

      • Chemist: Eighteen and six tenths grains. Eh, Mr. Paladin! Eh, you won't reconsider changing the ratio of carbon to nitrocellulose, by just a pinch?
        Paladin: No! Took me eight months to work out that formula.
        Chemist: Your usual amount, Mr. Paladin?
        Paladin: That's right.
        Chemist: That will be four dollars a dozen.
        Paladin: The usual guarantee.
        Chemist: Underwritten by Lloyds of London. If this powder explodes in your hands--ten thousand dollars for the loss of each limb and fifteen thousand for the loss of your eyesight, heh, heh. Of course, you don't stand a chance of, uh, cashing in. As long as you don't overload the cartridges. this powder is as stable as the Rock of Gibraltar.

      • Chemist: Now, about bullets. Now here is an absolutely top quality, two hundred and twenty-five grain bullet, made especially for me by a little man in Yonkers. Eh, just the right weight for, uh, maximum range without loss of accuracy.
        Paladin: Now, you know I always use a Berdan primer.
        Chemist: That, Mr. Paladin, is an unnecessary luxury.
        Paladin: Well, shooting a man creates a rather intimate relationship and I hate to be thrifty at another man's expense.
        Chemist: It's your money.

      • Caleb: (After pretending to almost drop Paladin's valuable pottery urn) I'll buy you a beer, you look a little green around the gills. Two beers. Ah, takes less muscle to smile than to frown, I always say.
        Paladin: Oh, you do, do you?
        Caleb: I don't like to brag, Mister, but if it wasn't for me to put a little ginger into things, this town'd shrivel up and die of tedium.
        Paladin: Well, I trust your fellow citizens appreciate what you're doing for them.
        Caleb: You look for appreciation in this world, Mister, you're bound to die a disappointed man. No, sir. I get my satisfaction out of a job well done.

      • Mrs. Kafka: (After Blessington has threatened to kill Caleb if he pulls another joke) Nora, will you take him home and lock him up?
        Caleb: Oh, now, now, now, now, wait a second! I gotta think me up a topper to this one.
        Paladin: Caleb. That man meant exactly what he said.
        Caleb: Er, whaddya think I am? Chickenhearted? Why, why, he, he dared me. Now, now you seen that, didn't you? Mr, he offered a challenge to me in the presence of my wife. Now, do you think I could ever hope again to hold her respect if I backed down on it? What kind of a man do you take me for?
        Paladin: A man devoid of one of Nature's most precious gifts. A sense of humor.

      • Nora: I knew you'd be a friend to him.
        Paladin: I am not a friend to your husband. I don't like practical jokers. The only thing worse I know is somebody whose lack of humor permits them to kill.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)