Have Gun - Will Travel

Paladin: I'd be obliged to you for a ride. Burnaby: I'd be obliged if you'd drive these miracles of Nature for me. Paladin: How far you going? Burnaby: The end of the line. Paladin: Oh, where's that? Burnaby: That all depends. Paladin: Depends on what? Burnaby: Whether you believe in Heaven?

Paladin: You know him? Burnaby: The hero of Pawnee Creek? Why, every schoolboy in the nation know of his famous victory. Paladin: "But what good came of it at last? quoth little Peterkin. Why, that I cannt say, said he, but 'twas a famous victory." Burnaby: Do I understand, sir, you have some reservations about the greatest and most glorious Indian fighter since General Armstrong Custer?

Burnaby: I'm a lonely man, Mr. Paladin. Grant me a few childish amusements. Paladin: Oh, free amusements? And no magic potions to sell? Burnaby: There are men in the world who receive adequate reward from the happy laughter of innocent children. Paladin: That's true, Burnaby. But you're not one of them. Burnaby: Oh, what leads you to that shocking conclusion? Paladin: For one thing--this. (Shows his card) You've been picking my pockets, Burnaby? And for another thing...this. (Picks up the Pawnee Croft puppet) Now, Burnaby, you didn't come all this way to meddle in state politics. Burnaby: Hah! Politics! I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. Paladin: Burnaby, if you make a fool of him, the General is perfectly capable of pulling a gun and shooting you down in front of everybody. Burnaby:(Laughs) He does have a vile temper, doesn't he? Paladin: Why do you want him to kill you? Burnaby: Kill me? Hah! D'you think he'd do such a shocking thing as that? What about his political ambition? You know de Quincey. "A man indulge himself in murder, soon cares little for robbing and--" Paladin: "And from robbing he comes to Sabbath breaking, and drinking, and from there to procrastination and incivility." Burnaby: Mr. Paladin. In countries less barbaric than ours, isn't it the custom for the guest to avenge the death of his host? You have been a guest under my roof.