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Thursday 10:00 PM on Syfy
Look, I still think this is our very best bad plan.

That seems to represent the episode at large. Jordan had a bad plan, Duke and Audrey had a bad plan, Nathan is still pursuing the bad plan of having Audrey kill him.

After the now typical opening of a Haven resident buying the farm, it's into the action. For some reason, Christopher Shore as Dr. Lucassi has seemingly been dropped from the show...

And instead we get new (possibly temporary?) ME Gloria instead. It's nice to see another crabby senior citizen in town, especially since John Dunsworth was MIA this week. She proceeded to steal the scene and the show, and hopefully it will take her a long time to sell her house and move out of Haven.

We also discover that the writers and producers are trusting Lucas Bryant's wife Officer Rebecca with more dialogue and a backstory. It's good to be married to a show star.

Because if you're an actor on the show playing a Haven police officer, well, your life expectancy is somewhat limited...

Unfortunately, what that means is that Stan the Cop's days are numbered.

In any case, four generic Nova Scotian actors victims and 45 minutes later, we find out what's up with the Troubled of the Week. (TOTW). I've long since lost track of the show's complicated and somewhat contradictory backstory. If the Troubled follows bloodlines, why is everyone so surprised so often when seemingly new abilities pop up? Do new Troubles spontaneously appear? Why don't they maintain a history of everyone in Haven who has displayed abilities and put a watch on them and their families?

Plus if Peter's Trouble runs in the family, what did it use to do before the age of digital displays? Did people see countdowns in ye olde town Bibles and newspapers?

Anyhoo, in the first of a couple of disturbing sexual euphemisms, all they had to do to end Peter's Trouble was to.... well, get him laid. No they didn't come out and say that, but that was basically their plan. This was after it was explained that his Trouble manifested when a robber told him to sit still for 15 minutes, giving Peter a "15-minute Countdown to Rigor Mortis" Trouble. *scratches head* This seems like a case of a Trouble conforming to a random trigger, rather than a set bloodline kind of thing. Then again, writer Matt McGuinness gave us last year's "Stay," which was another really weird Trouble.

(Matt also slipped in Vicki, the voodoo artist from his first episode back in season one, "Sketchy." If anyone was wondering why she suddenly showed up three years later. Since the actress' name is Molly Dunsworth, one wonders if she's John Dunsworth's daughter. Nepotism rocks!)

Right, so much for the TOTW. The two subplots or whatever were Duke and Audrey trying to conceal the fact that Audrey was Audrey from Nathan. That didn't turn out too well because apparently they think Nathan is an idiot. Cue reunion music, mildly passionate embrace, and Audrey then getting mad at Nathan for robbing her of her decision to essentially commit suicide of personality, so that he could end up trying to get her to shoot him and commit his own form of suicide.

Then there was Jordan. Poor Jordan. Kate Kelton isn't the greatest actress in the world, but she's leaps and bounds above Christian Camargo. And yet she ended up being the sacrificial lamb to the slaughter to make him some vague ill-defined Big Bad of the Season. But first she had to play Round 341 of "You can't shoot us because we're the only ones who can end the Troubles." Because that never gets old.

But it's not going to get any older. First we get Kate Kelton in that other sexual euphemism I mentioned. Wade literally puts on a rubber to have sex with her. Poor Kate has to try and look ecstatic as cold clammy Christian Camargo* strokes her with his cold clammy rubber-covered hands. Ugh.

Then at the end of the episode he kills her. The writers tried to balance the fact that we were so sick of her whining about Nathan that we wanted to see her dead, and the fact that it was the waste of a character who had potential only to see it tossed away to make her the Scorned Woman (tm).

So now we have the Big Bad, I guess. Wade is pretty much of an enigma. Apparently being divorced and having older-brother issues turns you into a sociopath. Wade becomes a villain only because they need a Crocker to be a villain. Maybe we'll get some explanation of the Crocker curse because of this. It's not a Trouble (I think...). Is it a balancing mechanism like Audrey/Lucy/Sarah? The Crocker curse has always seemed like the vaguest part of the show's mythology to me.

But Wade is now a murderer. Why? The curse doesn't apparently turn a Crocker into a killer: Duke has resisted it and he (was) a lot scummier than Wade. So we can't blame Wade's apparent trail of corpses on him getting his first rush of power. He doesn't seem redeemable, so it just seems that we have a Trouble-hunting serial killer who will power himself up so he can save the day (why he wants to, I'm not sure), and end up dead around episode 12 or 13.

Oh, and we had some of Vince's back story, which was interesting. I think we can definitely write him off as the "nice" Teague brother. And some anti-Trouble prejudice. Although it seems sometimes like everyone in Haven is Troubled.

So overall I'm giving this one a 7. Things happened, the plot moved on, the Vince stuff was good, the TOTW was okay. You can't go wrong with a ticking time bomb - just ask the producers of 24. Dwight was off checking up on Johnny Smith from the TV Dead Zone series**, Jennifer wasn't around either, and I missed both of them. But they'll be back next week judging from the previews.


* Apologies to any Christian Camargo fans out there. I'm sure he has some, and the guy has to work. But... *yawn*

** Cleave's Mill = Johnny's hometown in the USA series.
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