A Haven Community
Syfy (ended 2015)
A woman who's built to have children.

Well, this week's episode at least had an interesting A-plot. Or is what's happening with Audrey and Nathan the A-plot, and the Trouble of the Week the B-plot?

Anyway, we had something like some of the weird/creepy Troubles of season 3. A guy who creates Caribbean demon-children to abduct other children. One kind of wonders why Braer knew about the Douen in the first place. But it was nice to see a Trouble that did more than freeze or burn people. Of course, as a writer you can't go wrong threatening children, and watching them play themselves to death in freezing weather was creepy. Kudos to Speed Weed (??) for that one.

I don't think there were any surprises to us regular watchers on the B-Plot. If nothing else, next week's title kind of gave it away. We figured Audrey would be back fairly soon, and we knew they weren't going to kill Nathan. So what happened was pretty predictable. It was basically a whole lot of talking leading up to a predetermined conclusion.

I'm not sure what was up with Dave. Suddenly there's a Door, and he doesn't want it opened. But... nothing much happened. Will that have long-term repercussions? Any repercussions?

Arrgh. We almost--almost--got past the "Trouble of the Week is a metaphor for Nathan's problems" plot, but they had to drag us back in. He can sympathize with Creepy Guy from Defiance because Nathan kinda/sort got his son killed and he had trouble accepting that (when?) but decided he could get over it after all.

Unlike Lou Grant, I like Jennifer. She has spunk. I didn't like Carmen. She doesn't have spunk. Jordan is way past her expiration date at this point.

If the child actor who played Kurt is going to continue in the business, he needs to learn how to do a pass-out collapse. Worst faint ever.

Don't you hate the people who do the credits? Listed there is Douen #1 and Douens 3, 4, and 5. There were only four Douens dancing in the woods. So... who was Douen #2? The world may never know... :(

They must have spent a lot of money on "Douen prosthetics." They should have spent a little more on the feet. Or maybe the traditional Caribbean Douen has feet that look like they were purchased from Spencer's, and Braer and the makeup people were going for accuracy.

Are there a lot of single mothers in Haven? Ben and Harper didn't seem to have fathers. Maybe they were burned up and frozen and exsanguinated in the last three episodes.

I wish I could quote it on the episode page without a whole lot of context to set it up, but Dwight had the best line of the night. "Your husband just decided it's time to adopt." No kidding. They could have saved themselves a whole lot of time, money, and Trouble if they had.

And that brings us to this review's tag line. Wow. Both Braer and Nathan said that Carmen "is built to have children." What does that mean?!? Are there women who aren't built to have children? Who built them? I mean, Krista Bridges is a decent enough actress, but what is her distinguishing characteristic that makes her look "built to have children"? Is that a popular pickup line at bars? Do women find that at all complimentary?

And what do we think of the Brock marriage? "Honey, I know I mind controlled you and made you go out in the middle of nowhere to play with the children I couldn't give you, and you were almost an accessory to three deaths. And one of those kids was your nephew, so my subconscious has a weird vaguely incestuous vibe. But you'll forgive me, right? Oh, and you're built to have children." I predict a very rapid divorce in their future. Run, Carmen, run!

So overall, I'll give this an 8. They went for horror rather than gore and gratuitous death, and it was horrific, so that pushes it up a notch for me. The Audrey/Lexie plot was nothing special, but at least it got things moving.
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