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A woman who's built to have children.

Well, this week's episode at least had an interesting A-plot. Or is what's happening with Audrey and Nathan the A-plot, and the Trouble of the Week the B-plot?

Anyway, we had something like some of the weird/creepy Troubles of season 3. A guy who creates Caribbean demon-children to abduct other children. One kind of wonders why Braer knew about the Douen in the first place. But it was nice to see a Trouble that did more than freeze or burn people. Of course, as a writer you can't go wrong threatening children, and watching them play themselves to death in freezing weather was creepy. Kudos to Speed Weed (??) for that one.

I don't think there were any surprises to us regular watchers on the B-Plot. If nothing else, next week's title kind of gave it away. We figured Audrey would be back fairly soon, and we knew they weren't going to kill Nathan. So what happened was pretty predictable. It was basically a whole lot of talking leading up to a predetermined conclusion.

I'm not sure what was up with Dave. Suddenly there's a Door, and he doesn't want it opened. But... nothing much happened. Will that have long-term repercussions? Any repercussions?

Arrgh. We almost--almost--got past the "Trouble of the Week is a metaphor for Nathan's problems" plot, but they had to drag us back in. He can sympathize with Creepy Guy from Defiance because Nathan kinda/sort got his son killed and he had trouble accepting that (when?) but decided he could get over it after all.

Unlike Lou Grant, I like Jennifer. She has spunk. I didn't like Carmen. She doesn't have spunk. Jordan is way past her expiration date at this point.

If the child actor who played Kurt is going to continue in the business, he needs to learn how to do a pass-out collapse. Worst faint ever.

Don't you hate the people who do the credits? Listed there is Douen #1 and Douens 3, 4, and 5. There were only four Douens dancing in the woods. So... who was Douen #2? The world may never know... :(

They must have spent a lot of money on "Douen prosthetics." They should have spent a little more on the feet. Or maybe the traditional Caribbean Douen has feet that look like they were purchased from Spencer's, and Braer and the makeup people were going for accuracy.



Are there a lot of single mothers in Haven? Ben and Harper didn't seem to have fathers. Maybe they were burned up and frozen and exsanguinated in the last three episodes.

I wish I could quote it on the episode page without a whole lot of context to set it up, but Dwight had the best line of the night. "Your husband just decided it's time to adopt." No kidding. They could have saved themselves a whole lot of time, money, and Trouble if they had.

And that brings us to this review's tag line. Wow. Both Braer and Nathan said that Carmen "is built to have children." What does that mean?!? Are there women who aren't built to have children? Who built them? I mean, Krista Bridges is a decent enough actress, but what is her distinguishing characteristic that makes her look "built to have children"? Is that a popular pickup line at bars? Do women find that at all complimentary?

And what do we think of the Brock marriage? "Honey, I know I mind controlled you and made you go out in the middle of nowhere to play with the children I couldn't give you, and you were almost an accessory to three deaths. And one of those kids was your nephew, so my subconscious has a weird vaguely incestuous vibe. But you'll forgive me, right? Oh, and you're built to have children." I predict a very rapid divorce in their future. Run, Carmen, run!

So overall, I'll give this an 8. They went for horror rather than gore and gratuitous death, and it was horrific, so that pushes it up a notch for me. The Audrey/Lexie plot was nothing special, but at least it got things moving.
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Nov 05, 2013
Hum...I guess no one bothered to do their research on "Afro Caribbean"
myths - LOL!
Wikipedia has it pretty much on point.
Excerpt: "Douen (pronounced Dwen) are considered to be the ‘lost
souls’ of children that were not baptized or christened before death.
It is said that they are destined to wander the earth eternally while
practicing their collection of pranks. Neither male nor female, douens
live in the forest, swamps and near rivers in Trinidad and Tobago.
Their manifestation is that of a naked child never growing more than
two or three feet in height. They wear a large floppy straw hat and
have an entirely undistinguished face with the exception of a small
mouth. The one characteristic that allows them to be recognized as
douens are their feet, which are turned backwards with the heel facing
forward. Douens roam the land in the pursuit of children that are not
yet baptized, or christened..." Source -
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douen
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Oct 07, 2013
I loved this episode. Trouble of the week was awesome and I enjoyed the horror movie evil-kiddo's touch to the very last bite :) And since I'm not filleting every scene of stuff I watch, if it weren't for you I'd never have noticed that *cheap* monster foot at all. Talking of *built to have children*, since it was first Carmen's husband who've referred to her in that way, and Nathan later only mimicked him to get him work on his own trouble, I did not see anything wrong with that. Family members IMO sometimes call each other worse nicknames, so why not this.
But the most important piece of cause was Audrey/Lexie going back to Haven. Yay to that! So happy this bar(n) stuff wasn't dragged on forever. Regarding the issue of Audrey/Lexie remembering who she was, recognizing or not Nathan since she smiled before taking the leap, etc., I think that she might have heard in Nathan's voice something familiar and encouraging for her to make that step, but on the Haven side she woke up disoriented and mostly Lexie (at least for now). Some say for someone who isn't Audrey she was way too cool with the kiss, but given her history as Sarah meets Nathan... and in this case there was this very short moment after the kiss stopped and Audrey/Lexie shifted her sitting position, I might be reading too much into that but to me that was "what a hell is going on and who are you, kisser?"
Anyway a solid 9 out of 10 from me for a gripping episode and waiting for more :D
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Oct 06, 2013
Hey I still like Jordan! ! She's one of the smart characters on the show.
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Oct 07, 2013
You know, that's not as reassuring as you might think.......
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Oct 06, 2013
I found this episode oddly more King-like. The creepy Douen gave me goose bumps from the first point when the Douen boy was caught on a shop camera. Grrreat! Of course it rang many bells from various horror movies but still - it was something different from blood spilling all over and smoke or ice which imo where ewww.
The "buuil to have children" statement was like "Wahaaat?" but seriously, I understand that it meant she's made to have children - mother-like, caring/loving/add-what-else-suits you. And it was sooo predictable.
Martyr-like Nathan goes on my nerves. Whe Chief Wuornos died, Nathan was mourning but now...
But Duke - Duke is great, developing tender and affectionate feelings for other people. That I like, because he doesn't loose anything from his personality but only gains. At that point, I should suggest that Nathan in his blind pursue after Audrey started becoming like a negative character and Duke is more likely to win Audrey/Lexie, which would be great.
Oh, oh, and I think that the prophecy/idea/what-was-that about Audrey killing the only person she loves referred to her son - James.
Overall, I liked it very much, I guess 8,5/10 - still missing some typical Haven characteristics like good mystery, decent detective job and less Guards in each and every corner, lurking, plotting, tormenting Nathan.
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Oct 06, 2013
The children reminded me of David Cronenberg's The Brood.

If they thought she'd make a good mother, with the right feelings and all, then just say, "Yes, she'd make a great mother." Saying "She's built to have children" has a rather... unfortunate physical component.


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Oct 07, 2013
Agreed on both counts - I thought the 'The Brood' when I saw the creature kids too. But the 'built for children' line was kind of insulting; they might as well have said "you're a brood mare".
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Oct 06, 2013
You guys are being too PC about the being built for children, let it go.
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Oct 06, 2013
True, true, that notion of physicality to her was a little bit off. Like someone writing the script had a temporal loss of suitable expression.
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Oct 06, 2013
I have to agree, all in all, we knew it was only a matter of time till Audrey came back, why was this dragged for 4 episodes? How long will this season be? (haven't checked) around the usual 12 eps?
We're a third way down and the plot hasn't moved by much.

Jennifer as a character is great, but...
The notion that there is a troubled person who happens to hear the barn is just too deus-ex-machine for me. Unless there is something really up with her, it's just too... meh...
She's a great character, but honestly I would have accepted her even without giving her a trouble at all.

The thing that made season 3 amazing in my opinion is because the monster of the week episodes took a step back for the overall plot. Now it seems to go the other way around and I don't like it as much.

It seems that season 3 left us with so many unopened questions and season 4 isn't going to try and answer them. The story seems to focus around the whole Audrey killing Nathan when really we know that's never going to happen.

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Oct 06, 2013
I am officially over Jordan's whining about her trouble. I thought maybe her purpose in the first 2 eps of the season was to remind viewers about the impact of Nathan's decision to save Audrey, but now Jordan is just annoying.

I really like the screen time Nathan and Duke are getting and I enjoy watching them together. However, it's time to get the band back together and move on.
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Oct 06, 2013
Umm... I don't think Jordan is about her trouble. You know that whole "hell hath no fury" thing? She's upset with Nathan cause he basically used her and has the hots for Audrey. She obviously still loves him...
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Oct 06, 2013
Well, she did say last week that she wanted to die if her Trouble couldn't be cured and she had to go the rest of her life without being able to touch someone.
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Oct 06, 2013
Yeah, but I got the impression that it's what she's saying, but give them a couple more episodes and she'll admit she's using it as an excuse
(most likely near the end of the season, when she gets a chance to kill Nathan but will let him go)
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Oct 06, 2013
I think the whole "built for children" bit was meant more emotionally, than physically. This was a woman who pretty much dedicated herself to children and would make an excellent mother
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Oct 06, 2013
I agree and I knew some people would cry about it. So just suck it up and let it go.
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Oct 06, 2013
Also, did Braer really drag Carmen out into the middle of nowhere to propose to her? Someplace that search parties weren't liable to stumble across? Like I said, that marriage was already in trouble...
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Oct 05, 2013
Those Douens were horrible to look at. It was like a poor Halloween costume or something out of Goosebumps. If this is a budget issue, maybe they could borrow some of the leftover supplies from Face Off or something?
And they really need to give the Guard extras some speaking parts. How many times are they gonna walk into a scene pointing guns? I won't re-post my thought on the Barn and that awesome ending...but suffice it to say I love the possibilities opened up by what William revealed to Lexie.
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Oct 05, 2013
Trouble plot is definitely the B plot. Audrey, Nathan, Duke and all other main characters are A plot. To me at least ;-)

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Oct 05, 2013
I loved Duke and Jennifer in this episode, they were hilarious! I really hope Jennifer sticks around and has a big connection to the story, which we can already assume that she does, right? The Nathan/Audrey bit at the end was predictable because I lived through Fringe and I knew her answer was gonna be along the lines of: "Who the f*** are you?"
Although I love that every version of Audrey let's Nathan kiss her like it ain't even a thang! lol Both Sarah and Lexie were/are big flirts :-)
Yes, that "pulse" definitely did something and I think Dave knows that too. Oh Jordan...please keep electro-touching people, it always makes me laugh. I love that the Haven male/female character ratio has gotten better.
Hope we haven't seen the last of Colin Ferguson? If not, I hope he comes back soon and does some explaining.
When they went looking for "the door" I kept thinking they'll go to that place where the "real/other" Audrey Parker went into the barn and lost her memories at the start of season 2.
All in all...pretty good episode. I hope Haven sticks around for more then the usual 5 syfy seasons. Oh and I forgot to mention this last week: Yay! Nathan got a haircut! He looks hot and love his wardrobe the last 2 eps. Now if only Duke would get a haircut. *fingers crossed*
I love you Duke but WHAT is that hair!?
2 BIGGEST QUESTIONS: Will Lexie like Nathan or Duke? Will Audrey get her memories back?
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Oct 06, 2013
I'm guessing that Jennifer is meant to be coupled with Duke, to remove the love triangle from the equation. If the story revolves around Audrey having to kill Nathan since she loves him then the triangle by definition is already over.

This is basically Haven's version of Jack-Kate-Sawyer
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Oct 08, 2013
Yeah good point. I've never liked love triangles and the Jack-Kate-Sawyer triangle is a great example of how they can have a really negative impact on a show and it's characters. However, I think Haven did the triangle much better then Lost....at least more believable and much less annoying. But if Jennifer and Duke is our way out of the triangle storyline then I'm ALL for it. Triangles be gone!
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Oct 06, 2013
I too like Duke and Jennifer. They are good together and he obviously is beginning to develop feelings for her. I think she will help Duke move on from Audrey.

I thought it was presumptuous of Nathan to declare in Fallout that he was Audrey's true love, but she loved him as Sarah and Audrey, in more than one life, and they had a son together. so maybe he is. Personally I want to believe that; I've always thought Nathan and Audrey should end up together.

More Colin Ferguson, please. I would also like to get more of Chief Dwight's backstory. I really like how they have increased his presence this season.
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Oct 08, 2013
Yes I really like Dwight too.
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Oct 05, 2013
William said to Lexie that they would see each other again, so that's a promise right there too.
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Oct 05, 2013
Well, there's an episode in November coming up titled, "William," so I'm figuring we'll see him at least once more...
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Oct 08, 2013
Good to know. Thanks
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Oct 05, 2013
We knew that they would rescue Audrey/Lexie but we didn't know how or if she would be Lexie, Audrey or someone else. They managed to make it interesting and exciting. It didn't feel like "a whole lot of talking" to me. They took advantage to develop that Duke/Jennifer relationship a bit.

Dave has discovered something in a secret book they have that indicates that opening that door will bring something worse than the troubles. In terms of the general story, since we don't have a barn anymore, everything has changed and the show has now added new obstacles. Dave now knows what it is about, apparently, but we still don't.

"Built to have children" meant that she is fertile and he isn't. Points out the fact that she cannot have children because he can't, but she could have with someone else. And this is just to justify how bad he was feeling about it and why the trouble appeared. Guilt.

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Oct 05, 2013
I don't think anyone was figuring a third personality. And "Hey, if she's Lexie, she can't kill Nathan as the one she loves," seemed a pretty straightforward development.

Is there something wrong with the words "fertile" and "infertile"? Maybe it's a Canadian rather than American terminology, but I've had some experience in the area and nobody ever said my wife was "built to have children." I could maybe buy it from the husband, Br'er Braer, but from Nathan??
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Oct 06, 2013
I've heard that expression a lot. I live in the US, do you live in a bubble?
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Oct 06, 2013
Insofar as like I said elsewhere, I've had some experience in such a situation, no, I don't. And when I have heard it, it was either in a very personal manner, or in a somewhat objectifying one.
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Oct 05, 2013
Why wouldn't she come back as Sarah or Lucy? She could remember any of those personalities as much as she could remember Audrey, right? I'm sorry you found it so boring, I personally enjoyed it very much.

The "fertile" expression was used in a poetic way - something that happens quite often in fiction. But hey, English is not my mother tongue, so what do I know, right. I have no idea why you insist on it so much, but me, I was just trying to explain what it meant.
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Oct 06, 2013
I didn't find it boring per se (and I didn't use the term "boring" in my review). "Unsurprising" and "straightforward," yes. And I did find it pretty much a straightforward A to B to C plot progression. It moved the plot along, but there were no surprised and it was something most of us anticipated.

I didn't think she would come back as Audrey, or Sarah, or Lucy. To keep the plot moving and Nathan alive, she had to come back as someone with no memories of what had gone before.
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Oct 06, 2013
I think she just needed not to be Audrey or just to choose not to kill him. It is not so easy to kill the one you love the most, and Audrey would not kill anyone, period. So I don't know if it was as straight forward as you say.

I found a bit silly that Nathan went there and assume that she was Audrey and that she would kill him on the spot, with everybody looking. Least favourite scene of the episode for me. But well, it was short :)
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Oct 06, 2013
Asking around, the general definition of the term "built for children" refers to they physical size of a woman's hips. And has nothing to do with fertiltiy. So yeah, I thought it was a bit weird that both her husband and Nathan would comment that Carmen's hips were... well, bigger.
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Oct 06, 2013
oooh ok, I see - I didn't read it that way. It is very traditional to say that, it's true, like a grandparents thing. But I didn't hear it that way in the show.
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Oct 06, 2013
I think good ol speed weed was going for the emotinal aspect but I see your point. I think depending on the context of someone would say the phrase in reference to would determine if I should get offended or not. In this case I wouldn't.
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