Help Me Help You

Season 1 Episode 2

The Mattress

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Oct 03, 2006 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
35 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

The Mattress
The group is committed to following Bill's rule of the week -- taking a risk. Bill also follows his own rule by using one of Petey clients, a therapist with questionable methods and with whom he shares a waiting room, to help him break into his ex-wife's house to take back their mattress. Meanwhile, Dave tries to earn respect from his co-workers, and Darlene and Michael's rendezvous is interrupted when Jonathan arrives with a problem.moreless

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  • I loved the pilot and I loved this episode. Love how this show is funny, but the comedy tends to be darker, and it also has its dramatic moments as well.moreless

    Loved this episode! I will definitely keep watching. Love how this show is funny, but the comedy tends to be darker, and it also has its dramatic moments as well. I dont understand the comparisons to Becker. He is nothing like Becker. So much more vulnerable. What a great ensemble as well. Love Inger especially. She is a total breakout character. I can't wait to see the future episodes as well. Also looks like some of the outtakes from the show are on Youtube. Looks really funny. Keep it up. Definitely one of the best new comedies of the season.
Bruce Altman

Bruce Altman

Professor Ira Morton

Guest Star

Meredith Roberts

Meredith Roberts


Guest Star

Majandra Delfino

Majandra Delfino


Guest Star

Lindsay Sloane

Lindsay Sloane


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (13)

    • Pete: Look Bill, if it's any consolation your wife clearly isn't over you. That guy out there is a Bill Hoffman substitute.
      Bill: That's not my wife. That's my daughter.

    • Darlene: What is with the light in here? I look orange. Does my face look orange? Don't answer that.
      Michael: I just want to have sex with you. I don't care what your face looks like.
      Darlene: You always know what to say.

    • Pete: Bill, if you're thinking, you're sinking.
      Bill: Oh I like that.
      Pete: So did the over 10,000 people who bought the T-shirt.

    • Pete: Bill, did you put your book back on top of mine again?
      Bill: Yeah.
      Pete: That is so Bill.

    • Bill: Hye, don't you think having a drink with a patient is a bad idea?
      Pete: Not if they're buying.

    • Michael: (whispers) You feel like taking a risk this week? A naked risk in an expensive hotel.
      Darlene: Look I'm not just a sex toy to be summoned at your whim.
      Michael: 10 o'clock tomorrow.
      Darlene: 7:15.
      Michael: Seven.
      Darlene: Okay.

    • (Bill is flipping through a book)
      Dave: What are you doing?
      Bill: I'm just killing time until you're done being a liar.

    • Lucy: You totally Rock! Food poisoning everyone in the office, I mean, I just fantasize about killing everyone in the office, you actually tried to do it.
      Dave: Lucy, I didn't do.. (interrupted by Lucy)
      Lucy: I don't want to hear it. It will only diminish you, in my eyes.
      Dave: I'm so embarrassed.
      Lucy: Dave, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
      (Two Co-worker stop and start speaking of Dave in his back)
      Lucy: (abruptly and loud) He's gonna shot you with a rifle!!! Keep Moving!

    • Jerry : (Smiling and looking happy to see Dave) Hey Dave!
      Dave: Hey Jerry! Wait, are you being sarcastic?
      Jerry: (Drop the happy face and look angry) What do you think!

    • Inger: I'm touching a New York city pay phone for the first time in my life. (smell the phone) Smells like the breath of a million New yorkers who can't afford cellphones! This is so amazing!

    • Bill: You're a growing man Dave, you can't let those people drive you away from your job. Get back to work!
      Inger: It's true, you have no designable personality, your job is the only thing that define you.

    • Bill: Michael, you're late. Why?
      Michael: Hum.. Because I hate it here?!

    • Michael: I get it. You do not know sex till you've slept with a woman who is bat poop crazy.

  • NOTES (1)