NBC (ended 2010)
BLACK HUSBAND + WHITE WIFE = CUTE LITTLE BOY WITH A SPECIAL MONEY LAUNDERING GIFT!
IF YOUR MUM ISN'T ACTING LIKE HERSELF SHE'S NOT DRUNK OR ON DRUGS....HER SISTER IS INSIDE HER!
IF A PRISONER IS TOO DEADLY TO HANDLE.....RELEASE THEM!
IF YOUR FRIEND WANT'S A SPECIAL POWER.....PUSH THEM OFF THE ROOF!
FAT CHICKS WHO LISTEN TO RNB.....BEWARE!
IF U MEET A CUTE, BLONDE,INNOCENT,SWEET,TOTALLY HOT CHEERLEADER.....DON'T BANG HER FOR SHE COULD BE UR NIECE!
KARMA ALWAYS KICKS U FROM BEHIND,FOR EXAMPLE...IF U MOOCH OFF OTHER PEOPLES POWERS UR GIRLFRIEND WILL DIE!
IT'S NO LONGER "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE...SMOKE AND FLY"....IT'S NOW "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE....SMOKE AND PAINT"
DON'T BUY WHITE CONTACTS TO FREEK PEOPLE OUT,JUST SMOKE WEED!
THE NEXT TIME UR MOM FORGETS SOMETHING,SHE'S NOT STUPID,SOME HAIATAN DUDE IS ERASING HER MEMORY!
WHEN UR CONSTANTLY LOOSING AT POKER...KILL THE ASIAN!
- If your mariage is falling apart, you cheat on your husband and get pregnant without knowing wither it's your husband's or affiar's your mariage is gonna be fixed!
- If you're a chearleader with special powers your biological father is probely a flying politician.
- If your 15-year old spents a lot of time working on a schoolproject, she can heal herself.
It is possible to find stolen diamonds at a crime scene and no one notice.
Ex-junkies can shoot blindly at "invisible" men even though they are no longer on drugs.
Bad headaches caused by your spuer hearing?? Try the new Lil' Jon CD!!! Better than aspirin
Even though you know your wife cheated on you, that's no reason to question the paternity of the baby she is carrying.
Even though you know that the marks on your neck represent a tracking device, it is still safe to believe that you are actually in hiding.
When on the run the first logical place to hide is your own home.
1. HRG can teleport, because he can be ANYWHERE in the world in a matter of hours. ( I still wondering how long does it take to get from New York to Odessa by car or by plane)
2. Cheerleaders could trust anybody (classmates, quaterbacks, nurses, strangers, Haitians, etc) exept their foster-fathers.
3. If you want to be a politician, bang every woman you can lay your eyes on.
4. Radioactive man has a radioactive isotope in his body (Oh RLY?)
5. Mind reading cops can't read.
6. If your mother is a psycho-killer and your father just escaped froom jail, beat up some kids, then go play scrabbles with your mom's alter-ego.
7. Dr. Who can make himself invisible, beat a nurse, and dress up like a homeless junkie.
8. Painters can shoot a gun without swiching off the safety + they can shoot everything exept the thing they wanted.
9. Don't give keys to your exgirlfriend if you want her to stay alive.
10. Cool butch ladies are like superman
11. If you fell asleep on the metro on your way to work, you can end up in a totally strange city, and see yourself in a comic book.
12. Brain-eating makes good appetite, and sometimes headaches.
That person looking back at you in the mirror, is actually your evil uber twin.
It IS possible to be a cheerleader and a freak at the same time.
Your life doesn't suck, you just haven't been to the future to get your stylish coat and cool katana yet.
Weird s**t really does happen in Vegas.
If your watch breaks. . . buy a new one.
Comic books are educational.
If your best friend displays any signs of having a superpower, RUN LIKE HELL! (you are a sidekick and thus expendable).
- One of the Petrelli grandfathers was stationed in Tokyo just after ww2!
- The chance that two mutants will meet and spawn mutant children is high!
- Large Japanese companies that sponsor TV shows can insert any actors, or cars, they wish!
- If your daughter comes home one morning wearing the same clothes as last night or a coat you've never seen before, she was almost rapped, she died and then came back to life.
- If you're in a caraccident with your husband and you get hurt but your husband doesn't, it's because he can fly.
I LOVE THIS!