Hex

Roxanne: (About Cassie) It's a bit weird though, isn't it? A few days ago she was this hapless virgin and now she's a total whore. Leon: I kind of like it. It's kind of like having our very own Britney Spears.

Azazeal: (To Cassie) There will never be another man who waits 250 years for you. Well, not one in such good condition.

(About Cassie's Christmas plans) Jo: Surely they'll let your mum out of hospital. Cassie: Yeah, I know, but I don't want to spend my time feeding turkey to a vegetable.

Azazeal: I wasn't sure you'd come. Cassie: How could I resist? Azazeal: That's true.

Cassie: Thank you for electrocuting me. Thelma: Anytime.

(To Cassie) Leon: Jesus Christ, you're a nutter!

Peggy: I died here in 1923. I'd like to say my husband caught me with the scullery maid but actually it was the flu. How about you? Thelma: I was ritualistically sacrificed by a fallen angel. Peggy: Ah, the flu too, eh?

(On telephone) Thelma: It's just, she's treating me so badly, and I know why she's doing it but at the same time it's really hard to be patient. Voice: Thelma, we're here to help you but you really must listen to me. Thelma: I just want to slap her! But of course I can't. Voice: Thelma. Thelma: Which is probably a good thing. She'd go and eat my soul or something. Voice: Thelma. Thelma: She's possessed and there's only one way to solve that. Voice: We have a drop-in centre, I can send you a leaflet. Whatever you do, don't hang up. Thelma: I have to electrocute her! Voice: Take a deep breath for me. Thelma: That's what she always did. Voice: No, I don't really think you should do that. Thelma: She's been such a cow. Voice: Thelma, please! Thelma: Still, if I can shock her back to her old self then she can apologise. Voice: Thelma, it's important to stay calm in these situations! Thelma: Then she can grovel. On her knees. Voice: Can you just stay calm? Thelma: Yes, I think electrocuting her might actally be quite fun! Voice: Thelma, can you hear me?! Thelma: Thanks for your help. Voice: Uh, no!! Thelma: I feel so much better. Voice: DON'T HANG UP!! (Thelma hangs up)

David: ... And your boyfriend? Jo: Oh, no. He no longer exists. David: Oh? Jo: Turned out to be an arsehole. David: Yes, we do have a tendancy to do that.

David: If I told you that you were losing your job due to staff cutbacks, you'd be upset, wouldn't you? Jo: Yes. David: If I told you you could keep your job but you had to stay here over Christmas, you'd be pleased...? Jo: Nothing's ever straightforward with you, is it?