Ted (to Kyle): Would you trust me? Were not going off the road. If it ever looks like were going off the road I'll let you know I promise. (two seconds later) Were going off the road!!
(Kyle eyes bandaged decides to walk back from the desert and Ted with a bad ankle decides to drive)
Kyle: If your lucky I'll send somebody back for you. Thats if anybody wants to come back for you.
Ted: If your lucky I'll honk before I hit you. (to himself) Probably get lost and end up in Mexico.
Danny: Kyle, I hope you didn't shower just for us.
Kyle: No, I took a dip in the water trough.
Danny: You know the pool's really better for that.
Jake: You think so? Few screaming kids in the water trough.
Jake: You know Danny, I think three meals a day for the guests is a little excessive. One, simple, cold, uncooked meal, per day. Thats the way to go. I'm going to talk to Uncle Ben about it right away.
Danny: The Bar None Ranch: So Much Fun You Won't Have Time to Eat.
Mr. Ernst: A lot of my ideas seem good at the beginning, I don't know if you noticed, but sometimes they just don't turn out so well.
Ted: No? Really?
Ted: What are you talking about I'm chivalrous?
Brad: What about the time you dropped my watch in the lake and didn't get it out for me?
Ted: You crazy? You think I'm going to go in that lake. I did offer to hold your feet.
Lucy does not appear in this episode.