Mr. Ernst: Do you recall what you were doing during lunchtime?
Jake: I was eating lunch.
Mr. Ernst: Prove it dog breath!
Mr. Ernst: I'm sorry Jake. Just trying out the old good cop bad cop routine. You know where one cops a good guy and the others a meanie.
Jake: I think you need two cops for that Uncle Ben.
Danny: If there is a thief, he or she is probably long gone by now.
Jake: Unless the thief is one of us.
Danny: Good point Jake. Rumor has it there is a brisk trade in hot needlepoint just across the border.
Danny: Jake, you break into a sweat when the FBI warnings come on at the beginning of home videos.
Jake: I guess I have a problem with authority figures.
Female Guest: I think someone should call the police immediately.
(Mr. Ernst steps forward dressed as Madame Sonja)
Mr. Ernst: I am the police.
Female Guest: You are not.
(Mr. Ernst takes off his shirt to show her his sheriff's uniform underneath)
Mr. Ernst: See, I just been working undercover.
Female Guest: Under the influence is more likely.
(Mr. Ernst is dressed as Madame Sonja, fortune teller)
Lucy: What is going on?
Mr. Ernst: Be cool Lucy, I'm undercover.
Lucy: Your what!?
Mr. Ernst: Undercover, official police business. Call me Madame.
Lucy: I don't think I can do that Mr. Ernst. Have you lost your mind?
Mr. Ernst: Listen Lucy, this is a police sting operation. I've been pouring over some of the little know felonies of the local legal system and it turns out that in this county paying money to fortune teller is illegal. As some as someone forks over $5 to me their heading straight to the slammer or my name isn't Madame Sonya. (guests walk by) Lucy, their getting suspicious let me read your palm. (takes Lucy's hand) (in a female voice) I see by examining your lines, it looks like you'll have a long and successful career as an acrobat or a laundromat. I don't know your hands kind of dirty.
Lucy: Really, an acrobat. Oh, Mr. Ernst you have to stop this. What your doing is called entrapment, your setting people up, and that is against the law.
Lucy: Sheriff, what exactly that is that in your holster?
(Mr. Ernst turns away)
Mr. Ernst: It's nothing.
Lucy: Is that a squirt gun sheriff? (Mr. Ernst hands it to Lucy) Shouldn't be carrying this around, it's a little dangerous?
Mr. Ernst: I remember my Aunt Kathleen, ran a thriving business with a reptile farm. That was before they put in the interstate, of course the main attraction was the tattoo man, my uncle Jim.
Kyle does not appear in this episode.