Season 1 Episode 13

You Schmooze, You Lose

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Jun 28, 2010 on CTV
out of 10
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Episode Summary

You Schmooze, You Lose
Millie is nominated for a prestigious literary award, and Stan tries to teach her the valuable lesson of losing with grace. Joyce gets lessons from Taylor on how to properly schmooze a potential client; Anna and Crystal put their powers of embellishment to the test by telling inflated stories of their lives to people they've just met.moreless

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    Willow Mainprize

    Willow Mainprize

    Taylor's Date

    Guest Star

    Terry Weaver

    Terry Weaver

    Raggedy Man #1

    Guest Star

    Joel Walmsley

    Joel Walmsley

    Raggedy Man #2

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (11)

      • Joyce: The C.L.A.P.A.'s a very prestigious event; they don't just hand out tickets to anybody.
        Taylor: I'm prestigious as hell.
        Joyce: You don't even know what 'prestigious' means.
        Taylor: I'll look it up.

      • Millie: Anyway, [Bambi Weeks] wins, I lose, she gloats, and well... I just don't react to things like that very well.
        Stan: Yeah, I've gotten wind of that. But you know what? This might be your year to win. And if it isn't, I can show you how to be a better loser. If there's one thing I know, it's losing.
        Millie: You're really confident about your ability to fail.
        Stan: I've been doing it all my life! Nothing to it; it's like falling off a pig.

      • Crystal: Yo, Joyce! Is there a dress code for this C.L.A.P.A. Awards show thing?
        Joyce: Yes, it's formal. Not that it matters for you.
        Crystal: Yeah, I know; I look great in anything.
        Joyce: I meant you're not going.

      • Joyce: Look, I got a call from the C.L.A.P.A. awards committee; they're strongly suggesting you be at the ceremony. "Strongly suggesting"! Do you know what that means?
        Millie: They're mafia?

      • (Colin Hopkirk has just introduced himself)
        Joyce: Oh, I know who you are; I've read everything you've ever written, very talented.
        Colin Hopkirk: Well, I'm no Michael Winthrope.
        Joyce: Michael Winthrope's work is mindless drivel compared to yours!
        Colin Hopkirk: This is my friend, Michael Winthrope.

      • Bambi: You've been nominated again, good for you.
        Millie: (to Stan) Listen to that smug, snotty tone.
        Stan: Well, maybe she's trying to be genuine, and just comes across snotty.
        Bambi: What, it must be four or five times now that you've almost won an award.
        Millie: Nope, she's a skag.
        Bambi: What was that?
        Millie: Oh, I was just telling him that you're a skag.

      • (Taylor gives Joyce schmoozing advice)
        Taylor: All right, CQI.
        Joyce: CQI, what's that?
        Taylor: Compliment, question, introduction. "I love your tie, is this seat taken? I'm Joyce, by the way." And always have a drink with you, in case you have to bail; "Oh, would you excuse me? I just have to freshen up my drink."
        Joyce: I can do that.

      • (Joyce tries Taylor's CQI approach)
        Joyce: I love this carpet, is that your tie? Joyce is what they call me.
        Colin Hopkirk: I'm sorry?
        (Joyce drinks her entire drink in one gulp)
        Joyce: (pointing at empty glass) Need more.

      • Elite Woman: Anna, do let us know when Warren Buffet is in town; we'd love to join you for a game of darts. (hands Anna her card)
        Stan: You know how to play darts?

      • Taylor: It's a lovely dress, is it from Italy? Hi, I'm your new best friend.
        Joyce: I really don't know how to thank you.
        Taylor: You want to make out?
        Joyce: No.
        Taylor: Had to ask.

      • (final voiceover)
        Millie: So Missy Grumpaloo jumped on the big, mean, stinky ape, and pulled its hair, and made it cry, and sent it back to the depths of the deep, dark jungle. And everyone was so happy, they gave Missy a big, shiny trophy. Which is way better than just being nominated for one.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)