Shirley: What a week I've had, ok. Someone came up to me, ok, after last week's show and said, 'If ghosts exist, why have I never seen one?' Well I've never seen the Queen's wrinkly arse but I know she's got one. He knows what I'm talking about, don't ya'?
Shirley: Ok, all right. I feel ya' pain, I feel ya' shame, but ya' not to blame. It wasn't your fault. They shouldn't have put the light switch next to the life support system. Ok, all right, god bless. Love and light, love and light.
Shirley: Right, and in third place is, Maria… look at me, just look at me. Ok. Is Joel. Commiserations Joel.
Shirley: Brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen because I am gonna' give you a taste of a new quiz show that's gonna blow your tiny, pea sized brains.
Shirley Ghostman: If you're so psychic Shirley, what's gonna' happen on the National Lottery?
The National Lottery is the UK's weekly chance to win a big cash prize.