High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman

Season 1 Episode 7

Episode Seven

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Apr 12, 2005 on BBC Three
out of 10
User Rating
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Episode Summary

Episode Seven
Shirley tells the audience he is cooking on gas in tonight's show. Shirley visits Vauxhall City Farm and talks to the animals. He tells the farm owner that his animals are cracking jokes to one another and that one of the horses wants to visit Brazil. At Spirit Academy the final four contestants have to fight for a place in next weeks final. Shirley challenges the contestant's abilities to channel spirits on mass. Kininla is voted out of Spirit Academy. Shirley is drawn to two members of the audience, a young man and an older lady. The spirits tell Shirley they're a couple and are having problems in the relationship. After some words of advice from Shirley, the young man tells Shirley they don't know one another. Shirley changes tack and says the spirits are telling him they shouldn't be a couple anyway as they are not suited. Shirley's apprentice Ian Jackson (Marc playing another character) meets Bernard Ilsley, an Extra – Terrestrial Medium. Bernard channels an alien so Ian can ask some questions. Ian is hoping his dead parents will come through but the alien says this is not possible. X is for Xylophones as the penultimate psychic A – Z is revealed. Shirley invites a young man from the audience to join him on stage whilst he channels a spirit. Shirley's body is taken over by Marilyn Monroe. As Marilyn, Shirley seductively flaunts his body in the face of the young man and sings Happy Birthday. Much of the audience are reduced to tears of laughter as they watch. Shirley gets his body back and leaps up from the young man's lap in shock. Last Days: Shirley conducts an experiment which will tell him how a celebrity will meet their maker. Shirley glues on a beard and becomes Richard Branson. Unleashed onto the streets as Richard, Shirley decides he needs to break some records. Including ‘talking out of arse', ‘head tapping', and ‘spinning'. The final record, ‘glass gherkin eating' leaves Shirley spitting blood and Richard dead. Shirley performs ‘God Is The King', a new song by Freddie Mercury. Shirley is joined on stage by some sexy dancers.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (5)

      • Shirley: And remember, if you don't believe, your days are numbered. Spook to 'ya later!

      • Shirley: Ok, who is it that likes travelling? 'Cuz I'm getting a foreign country, do you understand? Ok, all right. I'm getting the country Brazil. Right, just bare with me sweetheart, all right? It's definitely a connection between you and Brazil, and lets just work on it and see where we get, ok? It's something Brazilian, ok? This is, is it a coffee? Is there a drink? A Brazilian drink? Ok, come on. The words they're using is 'this lady has had a Brazilian', and I don't know what.

        Woman: It might be a waxing.

        Shirley: A waxing? Am I right? Ok, now it's all very nice ok, but at least she's being honest in making a connection ok, so I thank you to shushy. Brazilian, and what, it's a waxing?

        Woman: Yeah.

        Shirley: Is that hair removal?

        Woman: Yeah.

        Shirley: Ok, 'cuz what they're saying to me is 'don't worry, it'll grow back. Ok? All right? You might have some itchiness all right? But it's gonna' be all right. Love and light, god bless, ok. All right, come on.

      • Keith the farmer: These are Venus, Serena and...

        Shirley: ...I can do the names, I can do the names. Ok? All right. I'm getting, one of them is named after a planet, erm, one of them, I'm getting something calm so it could be serene or something like that. Or, I don't know what the other one's called. Is it..? (mumbles) I don't know.

      • Shirley: Whose boobs leak when they get excited? Do you understand?

      • Shirley: Err, before we start, ok, I would just like to say, having Googled at you through there, all right, You are a very beautiful audience. Especially you (Whispers to young man in audience).

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Shirley: Today I'm hot in front of the heels of Sir Richard Branson to find out what it's gonna' be like on his last day on the planet.
        Richard Branson is the founder of the Virgin empire.