High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman

Season 1 Episode 3

Episode Three

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Mar 15, 2005 on BBC Three
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Episode Three
The BBC forces Shirley to apologise on TV to Mrs Oxley. Shirley gave Mrs Oxley a reading and she complained that he'd stolen words from the obituary of a newspaper and used them in the reading. Shirley offers career advice to several people and informs them what he sees of their future occupations. Kininla, Chrissy, Erol, Stella, Kim, Joel, Sylvia and Maria are the unlucky eight to win a place at Spirit Academy. The contestants learn they only have a blanket or mattress to sleep on and only get their dinner if they can predict what it is using their psychic abilities. The Paranormalists: Shirley's Dictaphone wielding apprentice Alf Szczurek (Marc playing another character) is an exorcist and offers his services to householder Louise and her half painted home. After much ghost hunting and sexual talk down his Dictaphone, Alf traps Louise's troublesome ghost in a jam jar. C is for Cat as another letter of the psychic A – Z is revealed. Shirley invites two members of the audience onto the stage to help him perform a Ouija board. Mrs Oxley's dead husband appears to come through and calls his earth bound wife a s**g. Shirley is very satisfied and ends the Ouija board. The other side of Shirley Ghostman: Fast becoming a recognisable face, Shirley buys a pair of stylish shades to hide under as he is fed up of the points and stares. He also pitches some ideas for Shirley Ghostman merchandise. Shirley channels George Frederick Handel who has composed a new piece of music through Shirley. Shirley's body is possessed by George and he conducts a choir as they sing the piece. The music turns out to be a musical dig at Mrs Oxley. Shirley magically disappears at the end of the show.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Shirley: And remember, if you don't believe you'll end up like Mrs Oxley. A bitter, tumour ridden old s**g. Spook to 'ya later!

      • Shirley: Was she talking rubbish when she said I was a hideous, social inadequate? Thank you Mr Oxley I rest my case.

      • Alf: Have you seen Ghost, the Patrick Swayze movie?

        Woman: Of course I have it's brilliant, soppy.

        Alf: Well it is not what ghosts are like, I've got news for you lady.

        Woman: Ok, describe a typical ghost.

        Alf: They don't like to kiss you ok? They want to eat your brains all right, they don't want to do work on a potter's wheel with you.

      • Shirley: All right Sir, you keep looking at me and I keep looking at you and I want to make a connection. All right? And I've wanted to do it since I came on this stage.

      • Shirley: And when you go to toilet, from now on you're going in a bucket.

      • Shirley: Ok what they're showing me is you're going to work in a post office and you're going to get burgled in a few years time.

        Man: Better not do it then.

        Shirley: No it's fine, you get better after the beating.

        Man: After the beating?

        Shirley: Yeah it's a gang of youths what come in and steal stuff.

      • Shirley: They're bringing me to you Sir. Ok? They're saying, I feel your pain, I feel your shame, but you're not to blame. It was an easy mistake to make, but for future reference ok, the actual phrase is 'don't throw the baby out of the bathwater'.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • Alf: Have you seen Ghost the Patrick Swayze movie?
        Ghost is a film starring Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg and as mentioned, Patrick Swayze.

      • Shirley: 'Cuz there's someone what pushes the trollies round at Asda isn't there?
        Asda is a well known British supermarket.

    • 8:00 pm
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