Hogan's Heroes Season 1 Episode 30

Klink: I will not lie!
Hogan: Colonel, any man who won't lie to the woman he loves doesn't deserve to have her.

Hogan: You want to know if I'm a ladies' man.
Klink: That's it exactly.
Hogan: Well, I can take 'em or leave 'em alone. To be honest with ya, I've taken more than I've left alone.

Klink: Do you think it's easy for a man to face the fact that he's been a failure all his life?
Hogan: No, but you've had a long time to get used to it.

Schultz: The lights go out in exactly twenty-three seconds!
Newkirk: Schultz, you woke me up to tell me that? Buzz off!

Gertrude: Why does everybody I know volunteer for the Russian Front? What is the big attraction there?

Hogan: He never even mentions his decorations, like the, uh, uh, the Iron Cross, or the Imperial Legion of Merit, or the Victoria Cross.
Lotte: The Victoria Cross?
Hogan: Mm-hmm.
Lotte: But is not that a British decoration?
Hogan: Well, yeah, but even the British admire a brave man.

Carter: Ferguson wants some 'wourchestershire' sauce for his cheeseburgers.
Hogan: Worcestershire.

Burkhalter: What do you think of our Col. Klink?
Lotte: He looks like a dead fish!