Klink: General Burkhalter just left here.
Hogan: Oh, Russian front?
Klink: Worse, much worse. He wants me to marry his niece.
Klink: I will not lie!
Hogan: Colonel, any man who won't lie to the woman he loves doesn't deserve to have her.
Hogan: You want to know if I'm a ladies' man.
Klink: That's it exactly.
Hogan: Well, I can take 'em or leave 'em alone. To be honest with ya, I've taken more than I've left alone.
Klink: Do you think it's easy for a man to face the fact that he's been a failure all his life?
Hogan: No, but you've had a long time to get used to it.
Schultz: The lights go out in exactly twenty-three seconds!
Newkirk: Schultz, you woke me up to tell me that? Buzz off!
Gertrude: Why does everybody I know volunteer for the Russian Front? What is the big attraction there?
Hogan: He never even mentions his decorations, like the, uh, uh, the Iron Cross, or the Imperial Legion of Merit, or the Victoria Cross.
Lotte: The Victoria Cross?
Lotte: But is not that a British decoration?
Hogan: Well, yeah, but even the British admire a brave man.
Carter: Ferguson wants some 'wourchestershire' sauce for his cheeseburgers.
Burkhalter: What do you think of our Col. Klink?
Lotte: He looks like a dead fish!
(Schultz finds his rifle in LeBeau's bed)
Schultz: Why do you have to have my rifle?
LeBeau: I don't have a teddy bear!
Kathleen Freeman portrayed Gertrude Linkmeyer in all four appearances.
This marks the first of two appearances from Inger Stratton.
This marks the first of two appearances from George Tyne.
This marks first of four appearances from Kathleen Freeman.
This episode appears first on the VHS collection's "Love and War" volume.
Kathleen Freeman was one of the busiest character actresses in Hollywood, perhaps best known as Mother Mary Stigmata [the Penguin] from The Blues Brothers.