Hogan's Heroes

Klink: Major Strauss has something to say that concerns all of us. Hogan: Are you surrendering to me? I should have worn my dress blues!

Klink: We are a Luft Stalag, Herr Major. We do not believe in starvation. Strauss: (looks at Schultz) Ja, so I see. Schultz: I am on a diet.

Girl at bar: Are you really a Colonel? Klink: Of course, my dear, isn't that quite obvious? Schultz: But hard to believe, huh? Klink: Schultz! Schultz: I-I-I mean, eh, you being so human. Hogan: That's not easy to believe, either.

Hogan: Kommandant, thank you for getting me out of the cooler. Klink: Believe me, for the first time I had to use all my intelligence and craftiness. Hogan: Yeah, well, I got out anyway.

Hogan: You won't go to Berlin, but you will go to the Eastern Front, when the Major's ready. Klink: He doesn't bother me. Hogan: Come on, Kommandant, who're you kidding? Klink: He doesn't bother me! Scare me, yes…