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Jacqui Malota "McQueen"
John Paul McQueen
Myra: Do us a favour love, when your ready to settle down, elope to Gretna Green, cause i'll be honest with you, my heart can't take another McQueen wedding.
Nana McQueen: I guess this means its Tony's baby.
Nana McQueen: How many weeks?
Jacqui: How'd you know? Oh you read it in the tea leaves did you.
Nana McQueen: To tell you the truth I found your testing kit in the bathroom.
Myra: Ey, welcome to the family son.
Russ: Oh, thanks.
John Paul: Run while you've still got the chance.
Jess: Remind me again what you see in Darren.
Zoe: He was just trying to lighten the mood, that's all.
Jess: He nearly started a riot.
Zak: Shall we make a toast.
Zoe: What we toasting?
Jess: To friends.
Zoe: And love.
Jess: Whatever that means.
Darren: Right, erm I'd just like to say before I start, if anyone has, or knows of any lawful impediments, why I shouldn't. Louise!
Darren: Just a joke.
Darren: I think you'll all join me in saying that all the bridesmaids, and both brides looked absolutly radiant. I mean one thing you can say about a McQueen women, is they have good taste. They only nick from the best clothes stores.
Mercedes: Mum, he's joking.
Darren: I'll just like to say that, i'm honoured honured to be Russ's best man. I'm surprised, I mean I always thought he was gay. All those trips away with the lads, extreme sports and all that, we've all seen Brokeback Mountain haven't we.
Myra: He's joking love.
Darren: No offence John Paul. You know I wouldn't be surprised if he was the next McQueen to get married. I mean Elton John took his boyfriend up the aisle didn't he.
Nana McQueen: I've obviously been away too long.
Mercedes: Whatcha mean?
Nana McQueen: Jacqui getting married, John Paul stepping out.
Mercedes: Coming out Nan.
Nana McQueen: Oh what ever its called. Then you & Tina tying the knot. That whole drama today, its difficult to keep up.
Mercedes: It weren't exactly the wedding I were hoping for.
Nana McQueen: You stupid stupid girl!
Nana McQueen: You know what!
Mercedes: You don't believe all that with Warren Nan!
Nana McQueen: Mercedes love, don't insult me. I can tell you're lying your lips move!
Nana McQueen: You put your mother through hell banged up in prison.
Jacqui: Erm, funny cause I had the time of my life.
Nana McQueen: What was that?
Nana McQueen: Where's this Louise women live then!
John Paul: Just leave it, yeah Nan.
Nana McQueen: Leave it after what she did to Mercy, wait till I get my hands on her!
Nana McQueen: Aya Father, lovely service did us proud.
Father Raymond: Thankyou. Myra, John Paul.
John Paul: Father
Nana McQueen: I'll smash her teeth in!
Michaela: That mass went on for ages, I was bursting for the loo.
Carmel: I thought is was dead romantic.
Michaela: You would.
Michaela: I'll have a Vodka & Coke thanks.
Jacqui: Without the Vodka!
Carmel: Well 1 out of 2, better than none.
Russ: You know I, saw some graffity on the toilet wall in the Loft. Do what it said, Mercedes McQueen Sexy & Keen. Now if that doesn't start alarm bells ringing nothing else will.
Mercedes: I don't deserve this Russ, yeah I had a reputation, but that were before we got together,that were in the past before we met. I've never, ever cheated on you.
Darren: On the bright side I won't have to do my best man speech.
This got 2.21 million viewers on it's orignal airing on Channel 4.
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