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Season 6 Episode 16

A Funny Valentine

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Aired Unknown Feb 11, 1997 on ABC
8.6
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A Funny Valentine
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Tim forgets where he hid Jill's Valentine's Day present. A singer talks about her relationship with Tim's father.

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    • TRIVIA (2)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Tim: Tina, shouldn't you be up there playing with the band?
        Tina: Yeah. I had to take a break. It's the drummer. I want him.
        (An old, heavy man is playing the drums)
        Tim: And who wouldn't?

      • (about Liddy Talbot and Tim's father)
        Jill: Where do you think they had these secret little trysts?
        Tim: You know Jill, I didn't think to ask.
        Jill: Oh my God! Oh my God! What if Liddy and your father had a love child?
        Tim: Would you stop it!
        Jill: You were saying how hot you thought Elizabeth was. What if she's your sister?
        Tim: Now I wanna vomit!
        Jill: What if you had married her instead of me?
        Tim: Would you let this go?
        Jill: What if you and your half-sister had children?
        Tim: Well then, I would be the best father and uncle to those kids possible.

      • Randy: (to Mark) Well, I just got 40 bucks richer. I found Dad's gift for Mom.
        Mark: Ooh. What is it?
        Randy: It's a locket. With a picture of... Brad?
        Brad: What are you guys doing? That's my Valentine's gift for Angela.
        Randy: But, if we put a picture of Mom in there and tell Dad it's his gift, we can split the 40 bucks.
        Brad: What happens to me and Angela?
        Mark: Not our problem.
        (Tim walks in)
        Tim: Hey guys. Anybody find Mom's Valentine's gift?
        Randy: Well, we would have, if Brad wasn't so selfish.
        (Brad hits Randy's head and motions his brothers away)

      • Al: All right, now this is a nifty idea. This is a cooling unit in a drawer. It's got your fruits and vegetables close to the cutting board.
        Tim: As well as your wine, your beer, your vodka.
        Al: And that extra liver you're gonna need for the transplant.

      • Tim: Oh, finished your laundry Al.
        (He pulls out flannel briefs from the washer)
        Tim: Gosh darn it, I must have shrunk it.
        Al: All right, now over to the family room here.
        Tim: Now you can't possibly tell me these are called briefs. How many flannels did you have to kill to get underwear this size?

      • Tim: One thing the Tool Man never forgets is to buy the wife a Valentine's Day present.
        Al: Yeah, but usually you end up doing it late, buying Jill a box of waxy chocolates from the gas station.
        Tim: Oh how little you know, my funny little Alentine. I bought Jill's gift this year in July.
        Al: So they'll be waxy and stale?

      • (Tim received a personal note from a woman)
        Al: Ooh, maybe Liddy's had a crush on you all these years.
        Heidi: She did say it was personal.
        Al: Ooh! Maybe she's just left her husband and she wants to seduce you with her feminine wiles.
        Tim: And maybe you should cancel that subscription to Cosmo!

      • Randy: I'm going crazy. I don't know what to get Lauren for Valentine's Day.
        Brad: I know what I want to give Angela.
        (He points at something in his magazine)
        Randy: Wow, the new Ferrari 456. Not a bad price: $200,000.
        Brad: That includes floor mats.
        (Tim walks in)
        Tim: Guys, guys. Did you find my Valentine's Day present for Mom?
        Randy: No. It's kinda tough to get motivated for a $2 award.

      • (about Liddy Talbot)
        Tim: I don't ever remember talking to her. She was in none of my classes.
        Jill: Maybe you were in some of the same clubs. Let's see: Honors Society, Philosophy Club, Latin Scholars.
        (Tim and Jill look at each other)
        Tim and Jill: I don't think so.

      • (Tim sees someone small carrying a bass)
        Tim: Pretty big guitar for such a little guy.
        Tina: It's not a guitar. And if I'm a guy, I'm paying way too much for shoes.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • The episode title refers to the show tune "My Funny Valentine" from the 1937 musical Babes in Arms. Liddy also sings a few verses from "My Funny Valentine" while playing the piano.

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