Eddie: I was married to Tildy for 45 years, and the woman drove me absolutely crazy. She had these ugly little porcelain cats that she loved to line up on a window sill. Every day for 45 years, I used to take those cats off the window sill and put them in a cupboard. And every day for 45 years, she'd take the cats out of the cupboard and put them back on the window sill. Tim: Where are they now? Eddie: On a window sill. Tim: You didn't throw them out? Eddie: What for? (pause) You don't have to understand a woman. All you have to do is love her.
Jill: They'll be singing highlights from The Barber of Seville. Tim: Great. Stage full of 300-pound porkers singing, "I got a bad haircut! I got a bad haircut! They screwed up my bangs! And you should have used conditioner! You should have used conditioner . . ."
Eddie: I was married for 45 years, and the one thing I learned was that men and women are different. Hick: It took him 45 years to figure that out.
(Tim doesn't want to go to the opera fundraiser) Jill: Well, fine! I'll just put a dress on under my tux and take myself!
(Jill shows Tim two different dresses and asks for his opinion) Tim: They both look nice. Jill: I don't want to look nice. I want to look . . . different. Tim: Well, put 'em both on, go for that layered look.
Jill: Do you think that Tim is a good listener? Wilson: Yes! I think Tim is a very good listener. Jill: But does he understand everything you say? Wilson: I think Tim is a very good listener.
Hick: I won't even dance with a woman unless she's wearing nylons with a nice seam right up the back of her legs. Eddie: Those aren't seams. Those are veins.
This is the first episode with scenes at Big Mike's Tavern.
Title: Reference to the proverb "Birds of a Feather Flock Together."
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