When Tim is climbing the ladder on Tool Time and he flips, you can see that the ladder and the wall are connected where they meet, which allows the ladder to flip but not fall.
Jill: By the time I get my Ph.D, I'll be too old to remember what Ph.D stands for.
Tim: Don't feel bad, I'm about to get one and I still don't know what it stands for.
Brad (to Tim): You got a degree without doing any work? Can I get that type of deal for high school?
Randy: I hope so. It's your only shot at graduating.
Randy: Mom's giving away our toys to charity again.
Mark: I hate it when she does that.
Randy: Well, we told her to keep the toys and give you away, but no charity would take you.
Tim: If you want to contact Al by computer, he's on e-mail in the flannel net.
Tim: It's a letter from the University of Western Michigan, where my wife and I went to college.
Al: They must have seen our show, and they want their diploma back.
(Tim meets his old philosophy professor)
Tim: "I think, therefore I am." Descartes.
Professor Garver: That's pretty good for someone who never came to class.
Tim: I thought I was there, therefore I probably was.
Professor Garver: I passed you, therefore . . . you're lucky.
(Tim and Jill discuss a philosophy class they took together)
Jill: I got an A in that class.
Randy (to Tim): What did you get?
Tim: A lot of sleep.
Tim: Today, we're gonna meet a man who has the job that nobody else wants.
Al: Actually, Tim, I have that job.
Tim (to Jill while he's on the phone with Harry): He's calling me Tim "the School Man" Taylor.
Jill: Harry is drole.
Tim (to Harry): Uh, Jill called you a troll.
Tim: I got a Ph.D. from the University of Western Michigan.
Randy: Are you sure it's not a Ph.D. minus?
Tim (to Al): From now on, you'll be standing next to a doctor. Which I guess would make you my nurse.