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Season 5 Episode 19

Eye On Tim

1
Aired Unknown Feb 27, 1996 on ABC
8.9
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Eye On Tim
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When a TV report is done on Tool Time, Jill gets angry when the reporter makes advances on Tim.

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (9)

      • Tim: (when Kelly tries to kiss him) Kelly, I think you've got the wrong idea here.
        Kelly: Wait. I thought this was your idea.
        Tim: Well, then I have the wrong idea.
        Kelly: Wait, wait. I don't understand, Tim. I mean, from the way things were going, I mean, I thought we'd end up back at my place, and you'd be licking champagne off my toes.
        Tim: (trips over the pinball machine) Whoa, whoa. Oh, boy. You know, if I would be licking champagne off anybody's toes, it would have to be my wife's ... and that would have to be some pretty strong champagne.

      • Tim: (brings a cameraman and reporter into the house) Let's take a look around. Here's my wife.
        Kelly Barnes: Ah. Here's his lovely wife, Jill.
        Jill: God, Tim! You didn't tell me they were coming tonight! I look awful!
        Tim: Oh, you look great, except for that crusty stuff around your nose.

      • Kelly: (interviewing the Taylor family at the house) So tell me, Mark, what's it like having the Tool Man for a father?
        Mark: Oh, it's fun. You get to ride in a lot of ambulances!
        Kelly: And Randy, what's your father's best quality?
        Randy: Well, he heals pretty quickly.
        Kelly: So Brad, tell me, is Tool Time your favorite show?
        Brad: Uh, no, actually, my favorite show would have to be yours, Kelly. My friends and I never miss it. (gives a thumbs up to the camera)
        Kelly: Really? I didn't realize I was so popular amongst kids your age.
        Brad: You know, uh, I may look like a kid, but um...(deepens his voice) I'm actually 19.
        Kelly: And Jill, if you could describe your husband in one word, what would that be?
        Jill: Mine.

      • Jill: He's turning into Tim the Drool Man!

      • Al (about Kelly and Tim): She was coming onto him, and he was coming unglued faster than . . . than the last thing he glued.

      • Tim: Stick with me as we plumb the depths of my own personal gestalt.
        Al: Tim, the only thing these people want to see you plumb is a toilet.

      • Mark: (when Jill is sick) Mom, we're hungry!
        Randy: How come you're not cooking dinner?
        Jill: Look at me. Does it look like I'm capable of preparing a decent meal?
        Randy: Well, no one said it had to be decent. Just make what you usually make. (Jill throws her used Kleenex at him)
        Brad: (walks in) Look, Mom. You forgot to iron my pants for school tomorrow!
        Jill: Well, I am so sorry, Brad. I have been selfishly tending to my fever. Hand them over, and I'll iron them with the heat from my forehead!

      • Kelly Barnes (about Tool Time): It's a manifesto for men in the 90s.
        Tim: Well, not just men in the 90s, but younger men too.

      • Wilson: The French say there is nothing more comical than a man being complimented by a woman.
        Jill: What do the French say when compliments turn into something else?
        Wilson: I believe that phrase is "Ooh la la!"

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