Home Improvement Season 2 Episode 5

Wanda: Love hurts. And in Hank's case, it sweats too.

Karen: What's at the Cinemark Eighteen?
Leslie: Eighteen movies with women thinner than me!

Karen: I'm fed up. I'm through with men.
Tim: On behalf of all men, I'd just like to say thank you.

Karen: Then he said, "We should think about seeing other people," and we all know what that means.
Jill: Yeah, it means he already is.

(Karen and Jill try to pick a movie)
Karen: Nothing romantic! The way I'm feeling about men, I want to see something with "chainsaw" in the title.

Tim: Where's Al? We need him out here.
Jill: We're using him as our love toy.

Tim: What are you doing with the hose?
Brad: I thought I'd water the lawn.
Tim: What did I tell you about water balloons?
Brad: Fill them up real full so they bust on contact?
Tim: That's right.

Al: I could bring jerky.
Tim: They say you are what you eat, Al.

(After Tim charades "Jill Dead Meat)
Jill: So I guess you're kind of annoyed that nobody's working on your engine.
Tim: How would you feel about it? If you planned a wedding shower for three months, the night of the wedding shower, I brought these guys over to watch football?
Jill: That happened, Tim.
Tim: And you didn't like it, did ya?

Jill: Right now, the guys are telling Bob exactly what it feels like to be pregnant.
Wanda: Yeah, right! The day one of those he-men goes to the john and shoots a nine-pound ham out his butt, then he can talk.