Home Improvement Season 8 Episode 19

Lillian: Jill, honey, I know you weren't expecting to have a hysterectomy at your age, and I know it must be very hard. But you've got to stop blaming other people and deal with your loss.
Jill: I am dealing with my loss, Mom. This is how I am dealing with my loss! I'm sorry! I am very angry! I hate this, I hate this! I hate this empty feeling! I hate the way I look at myself now. I hate that doctor for doing this to me! I hate my body, I hate myself! I hate everybody and everything!

Lillian: Well, now, Jill, honey, listen to yourself. Ever since the surgery, you've been blaming Tim for everything.
Jill: That's not true.
Lillian: Well, yes, it is. He tried to make things easier for you at school, and you yelled at him. He waits on you hand and foot, and you yelled at him for that too.
Jill: Mom, look, I just came down here for a cold drink. I don't need a lecture.
Lillian: Well, this isn't a lecture. This is advice, that you shouldn't interrupt until I'm finished.

Jill: He took my ovaries?
Tim: He said there was no choice, honey.
Jill: Oh, God! I have cancer?
Tim: Oh, no, no, no, no. You have twisted sisters.
Jill: What? What is that? Do you mean twisted cysts?
Tim: Cysts. Yes.

Tim: (leaving a message for Brad and Mark) Hey, boys, it's Dad. Mom is A-OK. Listen, when you get home from school, I want you to give her a call. Tell her you love her or something like that, but make her think it was your idea. And don't forget to erase this message. Gotta go, bye!

Lillian: (about menopause) The Colonel was even worse when my mother went through it. She was living with us at the time. He walked in, saw her having a hot flash, did an about-face and volunteered to fight in the Korean War. I didn't see him again until 1957.
Tim: Didn't the Korean War end in '53?
Lillian: Yes!