Home Improvement

Season 5 Episode 16

The Vasectomy One

Aired Unknown Feb 06, 1996 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
33 votes

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Episode Summary

The Vasectomy One

Tim and Jill agree that they are done having children, but he is not exactly pleased when she suggests that he gets a vasectomy. Meanwhile, Randy is excited to have been voted "Best Butt" by the girls at school, until he learns the real reason why.

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  • Not a good episode at all.

    In this episode, Jill thinks that she won't have a fourth child, so she thinks Tim should have a vasectomy, but after hearing how painful it is, he declines to have one. Meanwhile, Randy gets on the "best" list at the high school and is voted "best butt". Now, Randy starts upsessing over his butt, although it turns out that Randy was voted "scrunniest butt". I barely enjoyed this episode, the only parts I laughed at was when Tim mentioned "Manland" and when Randy looked at his butt through the glass doors nonstop. A very bad episode, how the hell did it get 9.1?

    FINAL GRADE: D-moreless
Caroline McWilliams

Caroline McWilliams

Dr. Klaplan

Guest Star

Gretchen German

Gretchen German

June Palmer

Guest Star

Debbe Dunning

Debbe Dunning


Recurring Role

Blake Clark

Blake Clark


Recurring Role

Jim Labriola

Jim Labriola


Recurring Role

Watch Online

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

  • QUOTES (16)

    • Tim: I can't believe you had a vasectomy.
      Harry: Well, Dolores wanted to have her tubes tied, and she was really scared about the operation. You know, she's been through childbirth four times, and...well, I've been to Nam. I've been shot, stabbed, kicked, bit, mortared, strafed, bombed. I figured, hey, what's a snip or two?
      Tim: You know, this is amazing. Really amazing. You know a guy all your life, and you don't know what's going on under his pants.

    • Wilson: Did you know that the male spider's sex organs are located in one of its back legs?
      Tim: Well, don't let that spider anywhere near Jill. He won't have a leg to stand on.
      Wilson: I don't think I follow.
      Tim: Jill wants me to get a vasectomy.
      Wilson: Ah, I follow.

    • Jill: (when Randy is looking at his butt in the mirror) Why are you standing like that?
      Randy: I'm just appreciating a work of art! (leaves)
      Jill: Do you think the kids are getting weirder?
      Tim: Oh, I think they've moved way past weird. They're into that frightening category now.

    • Randy: (looking at his butt) Looks matter, and I got them.
      Mark: Too bad you're sittin' on them.

    • (Harry told Tim he has had a vasectomy)
      Tim: Why didn't you say something yesterday?
      Harry: Are you crazy? Did you hear those insults they were throwing at you? It would have been suicide.

    • Henry: (about getting a vasectomy) You know, just between you and me, there's nothing to it. You feel exactly the same as you did before. The only difference is your sex life.
      Tim: What happens?
      Harry: Anytime, anyplace.
      Tim: Ooh! Anytime, anyplace.
      Harry: You got it.
      Tim: So this helps your relationship?
      Harry: Well, nothing can help our relationship, but our sex life is a lot better. Why, just this morning, I was getting ready to go to work. Dolores came in with curlers in her hair and nothing else--
      Tim: Harry, you've helped enough...

    • Jill (about Patty's unplanned pregnancy): I wouldn't want to find myself in that boat.
      Tim: I wouldn't want to find myself in that harbor!

    • Tim: Something smells good, what are we eating?
      Jill: Take-out.

    • Tim: She wants to take the zippity out of my doo-dah!

    • Tim (about Marty's sweater): That reminds me of something. When one of my kids spit up after eating a whole box of crayons.

    • Jill: It's much safer for a man to have a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
      Tim: Says who, the Wives With Knives Club?

    • (After finding out he can't drive home the day of his surgery)
      Tim: Look, it's bad enough to separate a man from his sperm, but to separate a man from his car - that's inhuman!

    • Dr. Kaplan: The first thing I do is give you a shot that's a local.
      Tim: You mean local like here in Detroit?
      Dr. Kaplan: No, I mean local as in your scrotum.
      Tim: Ooooh, boy.
      Dr. Kaplan: That does sting for a few seconds
      Tim: Ya think?!

    • Dr. Kaplan: The morning of your appointment you'd have to shave in the area where I'll be making the incisions.
      Tim: Shave? Here?!
      Dr. Kaplan: It's a routine procedure.
      Tim: Not in my house it isn't! What do you think - I wake up, brush my teeth, comb my hair and shave ping and pong?!

    • Tim: (asking Jill about his vasectomy) Can this count as your birthday present?

    • Tim: A woman? You took me to see a woman?
      Jill: I didn't know she was a woman. I just heard she was the best urologist in town!
      Tim: How am I supposed to talk to a woman on what's going on in Manland?
      Jill: "Manland"? Now you got a theme park between your legs?

  • NOTES (0)