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Randall William Taylor (Seasons 1-7)
Seymour "Sy" Winterfleffin
Swedish television doesn't dub any TV shows; rather, they use subtitles.
1500 Kronor would not end up $22.83, im not sure about the worth in 1997, but it would at least end up at $200
Tim: Uh, welcome to the show, Sy.
Sy: It's a pleasure to be here, Tim.
Tim: Sy works at, um... the Department of Animal Control.
Al: So, are you the top dog? The fat cat?
Sy: No. I'm just a regular guy who scrapes dead animals off the highway.
(Tim and Al are dubbed in Swedish and Al makes a joke)
Randy: Ha! You know, I never understood that joke until I heard it in Swedish.
Jill: This is so weird. Doesn't sound anything like you.
(In the video, Tim screams)
Jill: THAT sounds like you.
Tim: How about a little back rub, Milt?
Milt: I don't go for that sort of thing!
Sy: Thanks for having me on the show. I brought you a present.
(He holds out a brown bag, most likely a dead animal from the road)
Tim: Hey Fred. Had your lunch? (he hands Fred the bag)
Fred: Oh hey, hey, thanks!
Al: Well, uh, why don't you tell us a little bit about what you do?
Tim: A very little bit.
Sy: Well, I get up at about 7 A.M. and drive around and uh, pick up dead animals with a shovel.
Tim: But, uh, the Department of Animal Control-- there must be some special shovel that you use.
Sy: No, no, no. Just a shovel. Found it by the side of the road last year. Before that, I didn't even have a shovel.
Tim: (about the waffle maker) I've designed a high-powered syrup dispenser to go along with this. Heidi, my waffle buddy, please.
Fred: Oh no. Tim's made his own gadget. Code red. This is what we've trained for, people.
Tim: All right. This is CO2 powered. 25 PSI.
Fred: (on the phone) Yeah, put the fire department and the paramedics on hold.
(Al has finished making a coat hanger)
Al: Okay. Notice my wide-angled curves.
(Tim looks at Al's hips instead of the coat hanger)
Tim: (to Fred, a Tool Time producer) Uh, I have not seen the Andrettis yet.
Tim: They're on the show, right?
Fred: Uh... No. No, they had to cancel because they have the flu.
Tim: How long have you known about this, Fred?
Fred: What's the longest I can know without getting in trouble?
Tim: We're supposed to have celebrity guests. The Andrettis were it. You promised me!
Fred: I know. I'm sorry. I feel awful about this.
Tim: Fred. Fred. Um-um-um-um, isn't Paul Newman in town for a charity thing?
Fred: You know Paul Newman?
Tim: YOU'RE supposed to know Paul Newman!
Fred: Sorry, you're right. You're right. Don't worry about a thing. Listen, I got lots of great ideas for back-up guests. Oh hey! You know who'd be great? Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Tim: Yes! You know him?
Fred: No, but he'd be great!
Tim: There are two words that they're gonna be thinking about: Jerry Lewis.
Jill: The Europeans like him because he acts like a complete buffoon.
Mark: We're gonna be rich!
Tim: Wilson, thank you very much for being the guest on today's show.
Wilson: Oh Tim, it's my pleasure. You know, I have many relatives living in Sweden. They're gonna be so thrilled to see me on TV. Some of them have never seen my face.
Jill: If the show's a big hit in Europe, does that mean we finally get to go there?
Tim: Yeah! We can go to England and visit the Aston Martin factory. Italy, the Ferrari plant. Romantic weekend in Stuttgart Porsche Factory.
Jill: That's about as romantic as touring a sausage factory.
Tim: We can do that, too. On the way home, we'll swing by Poland.
Tim: This episode will blow those Swedes right out of their Volvos. It's a whole salute to men: men and their hobbies, man's gadgets, a man's gym.
Jill: And what about the European women? What's in it for them?
Tim: The same thing that's in it for the American women.
Randy: Isn't today when those Swedish guys are coming by Tool Time?
Tim: Ja! And if they like what they see, they're gonna distribute the show throughout Europe. You'll be looking at the new international tool sensation.
Brad: Are you sure they're gonna understand Tool Time in Europe?
Randy: Yeah. I mean, they barely understand it here.
Tim: Good morning.
Jill: Good morning.
Tim: Is everyone as excited about today as I am?
Jill: Oh yeah. I'm going to the dentist to get my teeth scraped.
Tim: The celebrity guest has to go through the roof, did you get somebody?
Fred: I got somebody great!
Tim: A big name?
Fred: Well, it's a long name.
Fred: Could you put in a word for me with Binford?
Tim: I'll put in two words. "Kiss up."
Tim: There's a package from Sweden, do you know what that means?
Brad: You won the Nobel Prize again?
Tim: What was that camera doing there?
Fred: It was filming the show, I had nothing to do with it.
Tim: It's always nice to have a producer who has nothing to do with the show!
Tim demonstrates how the exercise bike turns into a motorcycle and describes the setting as "easy rider." Easy Rider is a movie about outlaw motorcyclists starring Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda.
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