The Heart Smashers

Season 4, Episode 3, Aired

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    • Brendon: Well let's kill Simon and eat him. Jason: Let's just kill someone. Brendon: Yeah. Jason: Yeah, I mean how many times do I have to hint. Brendon: Okay, well we're all in on this you know that? Jason: Thank you, I mentioned it like seven times.
    • Coach McQuirk: You know dogs do that, Brendon. Brendon: Yeah? Coach McQuirk: Just a note. Brendon: Break up with, what do you mean? Coach McQuirk: Like packs of dogs, one dog that is acting... Brendon: Yeah? Coach McQuirk: ...not acting the way the pack is... Brendon: Yeah? Uh-huh. Coach McQuirk: ...they kill it. And they eat it. Brendon: Right. But like with humans, that doesn't happen, no? Coach McQuirk: Probably.
    • Paula: Look, I broke up with the guy. I broke up with him already. He didn't take... Jason: Mrs. Small. Paula: Yeah? Jason: Have you considered killing him. Melissa: Yeah. Brendon: Yeah. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait, if you guys are here than who's directing Fenton? Jason: Uh, Fenton is. Melissa: Yeah, Brendon, I don't know if you ever noticed but he is kinda a pain in the ass. Brendon: Interesting. Jason: You should maybe consider firing Fenton or killing him. Melissa: Yeah.
    • Melissa: Seriously, get him a soda, Jason. Fenton: PLEASE! Jason: No, Melissa, I can't get him a soda if you already yelled action and we're rolling and I'm in the scene. Fenton: I'm so thirsty. Melissa: Okay cut, Jason, get him a soda, please. Jason: Action, Melissa, you get him a soda. Melissa: Cut, Jason, you get him a soda. Jason: Action! Melissa: Cut! Fenton: I'M THIRSTY! Melissa: Jason, get him a soda, action! Jason: Cut, get your own soda, Fenton.(walks aways)
    • Melissa: Okay good and action! Jason: Wait, let me get back in the shot. Melissa: Sorry about that. Jason: Okay and action! Melissa: Wait, cut, let me get rid of my gum. (throws her gum) Action! Fenton: Hey, I'm thristy. Melissa: Cut! Jason, could you get him something? Fenton: Thank you, Jason. Jason: No, Melissa you get him something. Melissa: Jason, I asked you to get him something. Jason: Well I'm telling you, you get... Fenton: Someone get me a soda, please. Jason: Right, Melissa go get him a soda. Melissa: You get him a soda. Jason: I'm not gonna. Fenton: Please! Stop fighting and just get me a soda. Melissa: You know, lets forget the soda and action! Fenton: Oh, let's not forget the soda and get it. Melissa: Get him soda. Jason: You said action. Fenton: Listen to my (making sounds with his tongue) drying mouth. (making sounds with his tongue) Melissa: (sigh).
    • Jason: Uh, we feel that the schedule is in jeopardy. Brendon: I know, I know. Melissa: And, we feel there is one person for the part. Brendon: Right, I agree. Melissa: And it's Fenton. Brendon: I totally agree. Jason: Uh, hold on. (whispering to Melissa) I thought it was Walter and Perry. Melissa: No. You have to pay attention better Jason, Okay? Jason: Uuuuuuuh, what?
    • (after Walter's and Perry's audition) Jason: Ah, Brendon, Melissa, I made a decision and I want it respected. I want them in the part. Walter & Perry: YIPPEE! (Walter:) Perry, we did it! Melissa: Jason! Jason: What, they stunk but we have a deadline. Walter & Perry: Hey. Melissa: You know what, he's right Brendon. Brendon: I know, I know, okay Walter, Perry. Walter & Perry: Yes? Brendon: You are hired, but I'm sorry, you're fired. Perry: This is bullshit.
    • Brendon: We known each other for a while and uh...you know we work together and we play together and this just ultimately I keep coming back to the same answer, that this is simply not working out on all fronts. And that's why I think that, you know what I really saying is maybe it would be better if you and I just broke up. Fenton: You're breaking up with me? Brendon: Well, I mean yeah, I mean... Fenton: What, because of the lighting? Brendon: No, no. Fenton: The jealousy? Brendon: What? Fenton: You resent me, is that it? Brendon: Listen, just calm down. Fenton: YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU PIG, YOU JEALOUS PIG!
    • Coach McGurk: What are you looking at? Brendon: (staring at Coach McGurk's pecs) Nothing, no. I just caught myself staring at your boobs.
    • Coach McGurk: Brendon. Brendon: Yeah? Coach McGurk: Notice anything different about me? Brendon: What, your giant boobs? Coach McGurk: They're not boobs, they're pecs. Big differences. Brendon: I don't think so, I think they're called boobs or breast. Coach McGurk: No, have you ever been to a gym? Brendon: No. Coach McGurk: At a gym, boobs are called pecs.
    • Fenton: (playing his video game) I believe the character would have this. I mean it's his motivation from playing the game. Brendon: I respect that but however he's a possessed stowaway, possessed by the Septopus. Why would he have a video game? It makes no sense, look we're running out of time. Fenton: (playing his video game) Okay, he just would Brendon, You're overthinking it, he just would. And I don't know what to tell you. Ooh, I got another man!
    • Fenton: Oh, I almost forgot everybody. I wrote the theme song to the movie on my way over here. Jason: Cool. Brendon: What? Melissa: Let's hear it. Brendon: No. Guys... Fenton: 2, 3, 4. (singing) Beware the mighty Septopus, what a dandy guy. Brendon: What? Fenton: (singing) Lives on top the submarine and he's always eating pies. Brendon: He doesn't eat pies. Fenton: (singing) He's always eating pies up there and throwing festivals. Brendon: He doesn't throw festivals. Fenton: (singing)He's the grandest guy in town with seven testicles! Brendon: Tentacle. Fenton: (singing) Septopus, Septopus, Septopus, Septopus, (Jason & Melissa joins in) Septopus, Septopus, Septo...
    • Jason: The mighty Septopus, a horrible beast with seven testicles. Brendon: Tentacles, captain. Jason: Tentacles, right.
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