-
Brendon: Well let's kill Simon and eat him.
Jason: Let's just kill someone.
Brendon: Yeah.
Jason: Yeah, I mean how many times do I have to hint.
Brendon: Okay, well we're all in on this you know that?
Jason: Thank you, I mentioned it like seven times.
-
Coach McQuirk: You know dogs do that, Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah?
Coach McQuirk: Just a note.
Brendon: Break up with, what do you mean?
Coach McQuirk: Like packs of dogs, one dog that is acting...
Brendon: Yeah?
Coach McQuirk: ...not acting the way the pack is...
Brendon: Yeah? Uh-huh.
Coach McQuirk: ...they kill it. And they eat it.
Brendon: Right. But like with humans, that doesn't happen, no?
Coach McQuirk: Probably.
-
Paula: Look, I broke up with the guy. I broke up with him already. He didn't take...
Jason: Mrs. Small.
Paula: Yeah?
Jason: Have you considered killing him.
Melissa: Yeah.
Brendon: Yeah. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait, if you guys are here than who's directing Fenton?
Jason: Uh, Fenton is.
Melissa: Yeah, Brendon, I don't know if you ever noticed but he is kinda a pain in the ass.
Brendon: Interesting.
Jason: You should maybe consider firing Fenton or killing him.
Melissa: Yeah.
-
Melissa: Seriously, get him a soda, Jason.
Fenton: PLEASE!
Jason: No, Melissa, I can't get him a soda if you already yelled action and we're rolling and I'm in the scene.
Fenton: I'm so thirsty.
Melissa: Okay cut, Jason, get him a soda, please.
Jason: Action, Melissa, you get him a soda.
Melissa: Cut, Jason, you get him a soda.
Jason: Action!
Melissa: Cut!
Fenton: I'M THIRSTY!
Melissa: Jason, get him a soda, action!
Jason: Cut, get your own soda, Fenton.(walks aways)
-
Melissa: Okay good and action!
Jason: Wait, let me get back in the shot.
Melissa: Sorry about that.
Jason: Okay and action!
Melissa: Wait, cut, let me get rid of my gum. (throws her gum) Action!
Fenton: Hey, I'm thristy.
Melissa: Cut! Jason, could you get him something?
Fenton: Thank you, Jason.
Jason: No, Melissa you get him something.
Melissa: Jason, I asked you to get him something.
Jason: Well I'm telling you, you get...
Fenton: Someone get me a soda, please.
Jason: Right, Melissa go get him a soda.
Melissa: You get him a soda.
Jason: I'm not gonna.
Fenton: Please! Stop fighting and just get me a soda.
Melissa: You know, lets forget the soda and action!
Fenton: Oh, let's not forget the soda and get it.
Melissa: Get him soda.
Jason: You said action.
Fenton: Listen to my (making sounds with his tongue) drying mouth. (making sounds with his tongue)
Melissa: (sigh).
-
Jason: Uh, we feel that the schedule is in jeopardy.
Brendon: I know, I know.
Melissa: And, we feel there is one person for the part.
Brendon: Right, I agree.
Melissa: And it's Fenton.
Brendon: I totally agree.
Jason: Uh, hold on. (whispering to Melissa) I thought it was Walter and Perry.
Melissa: No. You have to pay attention better Jason, Okay?
Jason: Uuuuuuuh, what?
-
(after Walter's and Perry's audition)
Jason: Ah, Brendon, Melissa, I made a decision and I want it respected. I want them in the part.
Walter & Perry: YIPPEE!
(Walter:) Perry, we did it!
Melissa: Jason!
Jason: What, they stunk but we have a deadline.
Walter & Perry: Hey.
Melissa: You know what, he's right Brendon.
Brendon: I know, I know, okay Walter, Perry.
Walter & Perry: Yes?
Brendon: You are hired, but I'm sorry, you're fired.
Perry: This is bullshit.
-
Brendon: We known each other for a while and uh...you know we work together and we play together and this just ultimately I keep coming back to the same answer, that this is simply not working out on all fronts. And that's why I think that, you know what I really saying is maybe it would be better if you and I just broke up.
Fenton: You're breaking up with me?
Brendon: Well, I mean yeah, I mean...
Fenton: What, because of the lighting?
Brendon: No, no.
Fenton: The jealousy?
Brendon: What?
Fenton: You resent me, is that it?
Brendon: Listen, just calm down.
Fenton: YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU PIG, YOU JEALOUS PIG!
-
Coach McGurk: What are you looking at?
Brendon: (staring at Coach McGurk's pecs) Nothing, no. I just caught myself staring at your boobs.
-
Coach McGurk: Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah?
Coach McGurk: Notice anything different about me?
Brendon: What, your giant boobs?
Coach McGurk: They're not boobs, they're pecs. Big differences.
Brendon: I don't think so, I think they're called boobs or breast.
Coach McGurk: No, have you ever been to a gym?
Brendon: No.
Coach McGurk: At a gym, boobs are called pecs.
-
Fenton: (playing his video game) I believe the character would have this. I mean it's his motivation from playing the game.
Brendon: I respect that but however he's a possessed stowaway, possessed by the Septopus. Why would he have a video game? It makes no sense, look we're running out of time.
Fenton: (playing his video game) Okay, he just would Brendon, You're overthinking it, he just would. And I don't know what to tell you. Ooh, I got another man!
-
Fenton: Oh, I almost forgot everybody. I wrote the theme song to the movie on my way over here.
Jason: Cool.
Brendon: What?
Melissa: Let's hear it.
Brendon: No. Guys...
Fenton: 2, 3, 4. (singing) Beware the mighty Septopus, what a dandy guy.
Brendon: What?
Fenton: (singing) Lives on top the submarine and he's always eating pies.
Brendon: He doesn't eat pies.
Fenton: (singing) He's always eating pies up there and throwing festivals.
Brendon: He doesn't throw festivals.
Fenton: (singing)He's the grandest guy in town with seven testicles!
Brendon: Tentacle.
Fenton: (singing) Septopus, Septopus, Septopus, Septopus, (Jason & Melissa joins in) Septopus, Septopus, Septo...
-
Jason: The mighty Septopus, a horrible beast with seven testicles.
Brendon: Tentacles, captain.
Jason: Tentacles, right.