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Brendon: There's a guy named Jason… Penny: Oh, so you're Jason, now? Brendon: (mumbling)Oh dear, sweet Lord.

Penny: You don't like me? Brendon: I don't like anyone. I don't even like myself. Penny: Oh, that's sweet.

Jason: To Penny, spend this on something nice, signed question mark. Maybe I shouldn't spell out the word question mark. I'll just write a question mark.

Driving Instructor: Have we got any questions so far? McGuirk: Yeah right here, um. Can I leave now? Heh. Driving Instructor: Oh, oh oh. We got a real comedian here, folks. McGuirk: I've been saving that one up.

(handing out papers) Lynch: D, C, D, F, F, F, F, F, D, ahh. Walter and Perry: We're sorry Mr. Lynch. We'll do better. Lynch: Well that's nice. But here's a little tip, try studying gentlemen. Walter: We did try studying. The test was too hard. Nobody did good. Lynch: Nobody did well! Walter and Perry: You'd have to be a genius to do good on that test. Lynch: You have to be a genius to take the test huh? Well Brendon Small, clearly not a genius got an A+. Good job buddy.

McGuirk: Here's my license. Can't really help you with the rest, bankee. Police Officer: You telling me you don't have registration? McGuirk: Atleast I ain't drunk, right flatfoot. Police Officer: What? McGuirk: Huh, Johnny Law. Police Officer: Please step out of the car.

Jason: Morning Brendon. Brendon: Good morning. Jason: Want coffee, tea, biscotti, scone? Brendon: No no no, umm.... Jason: Cheese sticks, uhhh... Brendon: No we've got to make this quick cause I'm gonna be late for school.

McGuirk: That's what always happens. Cops pull me over and make me do the breathalyzer test and I'm never drunk... half the time.

Jason: Thirteen dollars. That's like a million pennies. (laughs) Pennies! Get it? Pennies. Oh, there's no one here.

Lynch: Those sons a bitches tried to cheat me!

Brenden: (talking with Jason about a 5th grade girl.) No, I don't know her. Are you and this girl a couple? Jason: No! No, no. (laughs) Brenden, no. We're in that weird phase where we're kind of getting to know each other. In that I mean I've been following her ... for a couple of weeks.

Junior: Ohhh, Brendon. Youza gonoh get it.