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Paula: Why should I take your side? Brendon: Because you love me. Paula: I do love you, Brendon, but that won't hold up in court.

Eugene: We get trophy if we win race, at spaghetti dinner it is also award ceremony. Ha ha, I will be victorious over you. Junior: There's something very diabolical and informative about Eugene.

Jason: (to the investors) Oh, your baby is eating one of the action figures, that can't be good for him.

Jason: (to the investors) Again, I'm sorry about dropping your baby. It's a very heavy baby.

Junior: One time we come so close to killing a bear, but the guy from the zoo was like, "Get out of here!", and we almost kill a mountain lion, and an alligator, we threw a penny on his head.

Brendon: Don't get into show business, Josie. Don't spend your life being dragged down by projects that you lose interest in and have to sneak away from. Jason & Melissa: Brendon! Brendon: Where's my childhood gone, Josie?

Jason: Naturally, our director is extremely busy. I'm sure- Melissa: I don't think he's coming. Jason: Scurrying around the city finding new locations. Melissa: He's not coming! Jason: Melissa, please. Melissa: Our stupid director isn't coming. Jason: Melissa, you're blowing the deal. Melissa: Why me? It's stupid Brendon. Jason: All right, I agree, he's stupid! You know something, this is stupid!(knocks the calculator off the table) Melissa: Jason, you're blowing the deal! Jason: No, I'm not, it's Brendon, Melissa! Melissa: You're the one who dropped the baby. Jason: So, it's a fat baby! How was I suppose to hold it? You try picking it up, Melissa! Melissa: I'm not picking up fat babies, Jason. Jason: What's the matter, Melissa, chicken to pick up a fat baby?! There it is, pick him up! Melissa: That's it, I'm leaving! Jason: Good-bye!(Jason sighs, Melissa leaves, to investors.) I am so sorry for what you just witnessed. But I'd like to talk to you two about back end points.

BrendonL (to Josie) Know what that cloud is Josie? Josie: Rever. Brendon: Haily Jole Osmen. Josie: Rever, ever, ra. Brendon: Yep, Haily Jole.

Brendon: I'm sorry I didn't tell you this earlier, but I actually hate The Wizard's Baker. I think it's the worse piece of crap I've ever been a part of. There's no way we can talk people into giving us money for it, there's no plot, it makes no sense. Jason: Hmm, well then I guess I'll rip this up. Brendon: What's that? Jason: A check for thirty thousand dollars. Brendon: Who gave you that? Jason: The retired colonel. Brendon: I think The Wizard's Baker is going to get made afterall. Jason: Screw The Wizard's Baker, we've got thirty grand. Lets set up a college fund!

Coach McGurk: Spaghetti Time

Brendon: (singing) I am a baker and today is my birthday and I just turned one years old and I'm very cold 'cause I just found out I'm a baker man and I live inside a baking can with soft and pretty bakers hands and I'm oh so lonely

Jason: (singing) I milk the cow, that is my job, and I fear the wizard, he should be impeached, I hate my job but thats another story, also I have a weird relationship with a cow.