Hot in Cleveland

Season 1 Episode 1

Pilot

2
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Jun 16, 2010 on TV LAND

Trivia

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Joy: (about Melanie) She never checked in. Should we be worried?
      Victoria: No, it's Melanie. She never does anything crazy.
      (Melanie enters the room wearing Hank's Cleveland Indians shirt)
      Melanie: I'm moving to Cleveland!

    • (several men greet the ladies as they walk past)
      Joy: I feel young and hot! Like they're undressing me with their eyes and not finding Spanx! I haven't felt like a piece of meat in so long!
      Victoria: Wow. To think we spent all that time and effort and money trying to look ten years younger and ten pounds lighter, and all we had to do was crash-land in Cleveland.
      Melanie: Where all the men look like real men and the women look like real women!
      Victoria: And everyone's eating, and no one's ashamed.
      Joy: I'm going to order chili fries!

    • (all of the guys are staring at Melanie, Joy, and Victoria)
      Melanie: Why's everyone looking at us like that?
      Victoria: Now, I get recognized a lot, but this is... different.
      Joy: I remember that look. It's... (voice trembling) desire.
      Melanie: They're looking at us! In L.A., they look past us!

    • (After Melanie spends a night with Hank)
      Melanie: He said I was delicious!
      Joy: It's the chicken grease (licks her arm, girls look grossed out)

    • Melanie: (depressed) Well great my husband is engaged and we're in a Dive Bar in Cleveland
      Victoria: Well I Googled Cleveland and hammered and this is what came up
      (Gesture to bar then grimaces)
      Along with some very disturbing pictures of Drew Carey.

    • Realtor: (to Melanie) Now there just one thing about this place, that I should mention...
      (Elka walks into the room)
      Elka: Why are you renting to prostitutes?
      Realtor: (quickly drops keys in Melanie's hands) This is Elka, she lives in a cottage on the premises. Enjoy!

    • Melanie: (about Ex-husband) I haven't even been on a date yet, an he's taking his fiance to Paris, and she's so young! She's half my own age!
      Victoria: Well darling, that really isn't all that young.
      Melanie: My Fake age.
      Victoria: (dumbstruck) OH MY GOD SHE'S A CHILD!!!

    • Melanie: (comforting Joy) Would looking at cheap real estate cheer you up?
      Joy: No, but I can't stay here licking my wounds...although (starts licking her arms again)

    • Joy: I'm sweating chicken grease!(Licks herself apparently savoring the taste)

    • Joy: Don't you just hate any kid who flies first class?

    • Joy: Are your chili fries good?
      Bartender: Can LeBron James jump?
      Joy: Can who do what now?

    • Joy: Melanie, friends don't let friends move to Cleveland.

    • Elka: If you can escape from the Nazis you can handle anything.

    • Elka: Aren't you that girl from that show?
      Victoria: Yes, yes, are you a fan?
      Elka: No, I'm not. When it was canceled I said good riddance.

    • Joy: What's the deal with old ladies and tracksuits?
      Elka: It's simple. In your 20's you dress for men. In your 40's you dress for success. In your 80's you dress for the bathroom.

  • Notes

    • Original International Air Dates:
      United Kingdom: February 15, 2011 on Sky LIVING/Sky LIVING HD
      Czech Republic: November 29, 2012 on Prima LOVE

    • This episode was filmed in front of a live studio audience.

    • Michael Lembeck, who directed this episode, played series regular Valerie Bertinelli's brother-in-law, Max Horvath, on One Day at a Time.

  • Allusions

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