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House

Babies & Bathwater

Season 1, Episode 18, Aired Apr 19, 2005

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Trivia
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Quotes
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- (looking for something) House: I really should have kept Cameron. She knew where to find the sugar.
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- Dr. Cuddy: It's not cancer. Patient: It's not gonna kill me? Dr. Cuddy: It's hemorrhoids.
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- Vogler: He is a drug addict who flaunts his addiction and refuses to get treatment. He is a disgrace and an embarrassment to this hospital. I'd go on, but it gets kinda mean, so I'm gonna keep this simple. House goes, or I go. Dr. Cuddy: You shouldn't personalize this. Vogler: And by I, I mean my $100 million. How's that for personalizing?
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- House: She's doing better. Rachel: Oh, thank God. House: Technically, Alexander Fleming. He developed antibiotics. Pneumonia's under control, and from now on, what say you stick with human food.
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- Vogler: In the morning, I expect you in my office with your letter of resignation and plans for a public apology, otherwise I'll destroy you. House: So that's a 'no' on us being squared away.
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- Dr. Chase: Don't see any signs of vasculitis. Odd...since you're always right about everything. Dr. Foreman: It could be a different autoimmunity. Or you could bite me.
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- Dr. Wilson: Vogler's got a plan to get you. House: Does it involve candy? Cuz' I'm a sucker for chocolates.
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- Vogler: (to House) The board's meeting again this evening. Why don't you settle down, play some Game Boy? Why don't you watch your soap? I hear they're firing the handsome doctor today – that should be a good one.
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- Dr. Cuddy: You are a great doctor, House . . . but you are not worth $100 million.
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- Dr. Wilson: (to House) I only have two things that work for me – this job and this stupid screwed-up friendship.
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- House: Did you make a pass at Cuddy? I told you – she only has thighs for me.
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- House: You know, there's a new biography of 'Quisling' you might find interesting. Dr. Cuddy: Sure - no idea who that is. House: Norwegian guy. World War II. Traitor. The fact I have to explain takes the edge off my flow.
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- House: This is how Vogler is going to destroy me? Dr. Cuddy: What did he do - grease your cane?
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- House: (Naomi) choked on soft wet pear – did she forget to take the bones out?
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- House: Starving babies is bad. And illegal in many cultures.
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- House: I'm not a baby expert, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to shrink.
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- Dr. Chase: Dogs can learn things. House can't. Dr. Foreman: Coward. Dr. Chase: Child. Dr. Foreman: (greeting patient) Hey there!
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- Dr. Foreman: (to Chase) Here, pussy, pussy, pussy . . .
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- House: Sorry - up late. Internet porn. Dr. Chase: How come you're not in your office? House: Because there is a computer in my office. If I log on, romance will ensue. My wrist might fall off.
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- Dream Vogler: So, there is some hope. House: Always. But just in case, I special-ordered a jumbo-sized coffin Dream Vogler: Hey . . . House: Don't thank me. It's just who I am.
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Notes
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- Injoke: The vegan couple who take their baby to the clinic are named "Kaplan," after one of the show's producers, Marcy G. Kaplan.
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- Music in closing scene is "Happiness" by Grant Lee Buffalo.
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- Although credited as normal, Jennifer Morrison doesn't appear in this episode.
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Allusions
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