Juan "Alvie" Alvarez
Dr. Darryl Nolan
Dr. Nolan: You think that by taking meds you'll lose your edge? Stop making the unique connections that make you a successful doctor?
House: If Van Gogh was your patient, he'd be satisfied painting houses instead of the Starry Night.
Dr. Nolan: Van Gogh would still be making inspired paintings of the night sky, just maybe not from the room of his asylum.
House: You don't know that.
Dr. Nolan: I know both his ears would be intact. And I know his life would be better.
Dr. Beasley: You realize you're not the first uncooperative patient On this floor?
House: Really? Is there a club?
House: Great job. Gonna miss you. Want to start missing you as soon as possible.
Dr. Nolan: You can't go back to practicing medicine.
House: I don't want to practice medicine. I've decided I want to be an astronaut.
Dr. Nolan: Well, if you want your state astronaut's license, you're gonna need my recommendation.
Dr. Beasley: I know you're scheming, working on your next elaborate plan to get out of here. Why don't you put the plan on hold for a few days? See what happens. Just let me do my job. If you prefer private to group, we can do that, maybe try some SSRIs. If you think nothing's working, you can always go back to your schemes.
House: God, if only you'd said that two minutes ago, before I came up with my new scheme. Now I'm committed. Ha. Get it?
Dr. Nolan: So your proof of your well-being is that you lied?
House: I see you've got some cello in your trunk. And no, that's not a euphemism.
House: Just open up?
Dr. Nolan: Just open up. Trust.
Dr. Nolan: We'll start with strangers then work our way up. If it helps, I find "Hello" to be an excellent icebreaker.
Lydia: You're not gay.
House: No, but I have to tell intimate secrets to people.
Lydia: Maybe they should be true.
House: Hadn't thought of that. To be on the safe side, I should probably do both, starting with the fun ones.
Dr. Nolan: You having fun?
House: I did connect with one guy. But my propensity for screwing things up overtook me. Then my desire to have fun overcame my propensity.
House: Who's that woman you were with in the parking lot?
Dr. Nolan: When you deflect, it's more effective when you're not that transparent.
Dr. Nolan: Why do you value your failures more than your successes?
House: My mother caught me masturbating... to pictures of her mother.
Dr. Nolan: Can we get past these cute deflections?
House: Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever.
The Netherlands: April 1, 2010 on SBS6
Germany: April 6, 2010 on RTL
Czech Republic: May 5/12, 2010 on TV Nova
Israel: June 2/9, 2010 on HOT3
Slovakia: August 31/September 7, 2010 on STV1
Poland: September 9, 2010 on TVP2
Sweden: November 2/9, 2010 on TV4
Music: No Surprises (Radiohead), Little Cabin Song (Billy Moon, Sharkey & Zooks from the Spark), Kinderszenen, Op. 15 (Robert Schumann), Impromptu #3 in B Flat (Franz Schubert), Love Vigilantes (Iron and Wine), Poison Pushy (Stanton Moore), Carefully on Tip-Toe Stealing from HMS Pinafore (Gilbert & Sullivan, sung by Hugh Laurie), No Smoke Without Fire (James Hunter), Harmonia (Cass McComb), I Do Not Fear Jazz (Big Strides), Life (Sly & The Family Stone), Night Train (Oliver Nelson), No Moon at All (Nat King Cole), I Love Paris (Cole Porter), Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye (Cole Porter), Macarena River Mix (Los Del Río), You're Nobody till Somebody Loves You (Russ Morgan), The Magic Flute (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart), Cello Suite #1, Prelude in G Major (Johann Sebastian Bach), Seven Day Mile (The Frames)
For this episode, the show starts "cold" by jumping directly into the story without the standard opening credits. The show title, featured show stars, guest stars, writers, and director are then listed over the scenes. This is the first occurrence of this since the Season 3 episode "Half-Wit."
The episode aired as a 2-hour "special episode."
Alvie: Like the Woody Allen character in, uh, Annie Hall, but the Puerto Rican version, and not as neurotic.
Referencing the 1977 movie written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman, also directed by Allen. It chronicles the life of a neurotic comedian, Alvy Singer (Allen) and his relationship with Annie (Diane Keaton).
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