Taub: Sure, some people will screw up anything, but some won't. That kind of cash, he has a chance to turn a miserable life around.
House: Miserable stays miserable. Happy doesn't buy lottery tickets in the first place.
Thirteen: Our level of happiness is set. It's in our DNA. No cash payout's gonna change that.
House: It's like there's two of me.
Dr. Cuddy: My mother's lawyer called. She's threatening to sue the hospital over our mistreatment of her. Says it slowed her recovery.
House: You know, I was just thinking how much I want a relationship with no sex, but where I still have to deal with your mother.
Dr. Cuddy: My mom and I got into a fight, Because of our replacement hip replacement, she can barely get around her own house. I told her she has to live with me while she recovers.
House: Oh, I'm starting to get the connection. Yeah, she has a house. My name is House.
Dr. Cuddy: You're the doctor that treated her, that illegally switched her meds after she fired you, that went behind the back of her actual doctor.
House: Those beads from Thailand. If we're listing all the things that you pressured me into.
Thirteen: She won't let us make a move until you agree to a sit-down with the Godmother and her consigliere.
House: Bitch to King Four.
Taub: Checkmate. Patient can't use his leg. You have to concede.
House: Or I could just knock all the pieces onto the floor.
House: What are you doing? We got a patient with a walking disorder, who can't seize. No, wait. I'm close, though, aren't I?
Dr. Cuddy: No clinic hours for the next quarter.
House: Yeah, three parking spots, next to each other, so I can park diagonally. And three pairs of your underwear. I'm thinking of taking up sailing.
Dr. Cuddy: Treat your patient, don't treat your patient. Come to the meeting, don't come to the meeting. I'm done playing your game.
House: You realize the game is automatically over when the loser loses, right?
Dr. Cuddy: He is being an ass. if I could join you in suing him...
House: She's like this in bed, too. Always scheming to get the lawyers out of the room.
House: Down on the patient's romance because your own lifespan is shorter than dinner and a movie?
Thirteen: You're the one who said miserable stays miserable.
House: You keep saying it. Several times a day.
Thirteen: I love being back, having every theory you and I share used as proof of my own personal damage.
House: I'm happier without her. I'm not stupidly expecting her to make me happy. I'm happier with my unhappiness.
Dr. Wilson: Do you listen to what you're saying? Because I have to.
Thirteen: I think if she said yes after 14 hours, even he'd be suspicious.
Taub: You're lucky you're hot and smart, because... well, you're just lucky you're hot and smart.
Dr. Foreman: (in a yoga position, legs over head) I need a hooker.
House: Not if you can make that work.
Dr. Foreman: Chase has had his eyes on this one for months.
Taub: Meaning... he has eyes?
Dr. Foreman: I paid her $100. When he hits on her--might be tonight, might be next week--she's going to slap him and storm off.
Taub: So your plan is to prove you're both full of crap all in one move.
House: You lost your mother. You euthanized your brother. You got the life expectancy of a pretty good sitcom. If you can convince yourself that you'd be miserable no matter what even without all that stuff, then maybe you don't have to hate the universe for dumping a giant turd on you. Fatalism is your survival mechanism.
Thirteen: And you? Dumped by everyone you've ever loved. Rehab was a bust. Your leg feels like somebody took a giant bite out of it. We are who we are. Lotteries are stupid.
Canada: May 2, 2011 on Global
UK: May 5, 2011 on Sky1
Australia: June 6, 2011 on Channel Ten
Germany: November 22, 2011 on RTL
Poland: January 19, 2012 on TVP2
Sweden: February 21, 2012 on TV4/TV4HD
Czech Republic: February 27, 2012 on TV Nova
Slovakia: August 2, 2012 on STV1
Finland: July 1, 2013 on MTV3
House: And I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm scared you'll turn green and rip through your own clothes.
Referencing the long-time Marvel superhero (and occasional super-villain), who first appeared in Incredible Hulk #1 (May 1962). Scientist Bruce Banner transforms into his monstrous green-skinned super-strong alter-ego when he becomes angry or in various other circumstances.
Dr. Wilson: You had to go all Wile E. Coyote on me.
Referencing the animated Warner Brothers character who is typically seen hunting his nemesis, the Road Runner. The coyote never speaks, and hunts the Road Runner primarily by ordering implausibly complex equipment from the Acme Corporation. Inevitably, the seemingly indestructible Coyote ends up squashed, burnt, or at the bottom of a canyon after falling.
Taub: As opposed to the same, Starfleet-issued tunic?
Referencing the exploratory and military organization which is the basis for the various shows in the Star Trek franchise. The organization handles all facets of space travel, involving diplomatic, defense, and scientific missions.
User Score: 7224
User Score: 714
User Score: 411
User Score: 329
User Score: 279
User Score: 260
User Score: 200
User Score: 172
User Score: 149
User Score: 120
User Score: 101
User Score: 100
User Score: 92
User Score: 90
User Score: 87
User Score: 85
User Score: 64
User Score: 63
User Score: 63
User Score: 60