-
Edward Vogler: I want to run this place like a business.
Dr. Cuddy: What, you want to put more vending machines in the hallway? Maybe a roulette wheel?
-
Edward Vogler: Are you sleeping with House?
Dr. Cuddy: What? No.
Edward Vogler: But you did. Right? A long time ago?
Dr. Cuddy: That's an incredibly inappropriate question.
Edward Vogler: If your judgment is compromised by a prior or current relationship, that is my business.
Dr. Cuddy: I respect him. That is all you need to know.
-
Dr. Wilson: Come on. You know how good you have it here.
House: Yes, I'm the big poobah, the big cheese, the go-to guy.
-
House: Read less, more TV!
-
House: Oh, stop hiding! I'm asking you if you want to live or die, you can't even say that!
Carly: What do you want me to do? Cry?
House: Yes! I want you to tell me that your life is important to you, because I don't know! Because that's what's on the table right now: your life.
-
House: Oh will you stop it with the book?!? Why are you doing this?
Dr. Cameron: I'm not doing anything.
House: You're manipulating everyone.
Dr. Cameron: People...dismiss me. Because...I'm a woman, because...I'm pretty, because...I'm not aggressive. My opinions shouldn't be rejected just because people don't like me.
House: They like you. Everyone likes you.
Dr. Cameron: Do you? (long pause) I have to know.
House: No.
Dr. Cameron: Okay.
-
Dr. Chase: (doing Carly's angiogram): I'm gonna have to ask you for the cell phone.
Carly: (typing on her PDA) Do we really need to? I'm okay.
Dr. Chase: Pretty sure my X-ray machine can take your phone in a fight. It'll fry it.
Carly: Fine.
-
Dr. Wilson: How do you know she needs a heart transplant?
House: I got my aura read today. It said someone close to me had a broken heart.
-
Dr. Wilson: Put on your coat!
House: It itches!
-
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) So if you ignore ethics to save one person it's admirable, but if you do it to save a thousand you're a bastard. All (Vogler's) done is taken your game and gone pro.
-
Vogler: This is not a game to me, Dr. House.
House: No, it's actually more like we're dancing right now. So let's get to the point. You don't like me. And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like you. It's nothing personal - I don't like anyone.
-
Vogler: That was my very first heart transplant committee meeting. Very exciting.
House: Trust me – Six Flags, way more exciting.
-
Carly: Why did you fight for me? You risked so much....you hardly know me.
House: You're my patient. Don't screw it up.
-
House: You value our friendship more then your ethical responsibilities.
Dr. Wilson: Our friendship is an ethical responsibility.
-
Dr. Wilson: You lied, didn't you?
House: I never lie.
Dr. Wilson: Big mistake.
-
Dr. Wilson: (Carly) was uncomfortable doing any more tests - I had to convince her to do that one.
House: Do you get that often – women who'd rather die then get naked with you?
-
Mr. Van Der Meer: (typing) wHats werong gwith ricky
House: Relax, Ricky's going to be just finkth.
-
House: Did you hear? New management. I'm thinking of switching to orthopedics. How much do you guys get for a massage now - without the happy ending?
-
House: No, I have seen every scary music ever made. Six-year old twins in front of an elevator with blood. Boys' choirs. Those are bad omens. This is much more mundane. A billionaire wants to get laid.
Dr. Wilson: Billionaires buy movie studios to get laid. They buy hospitals to get respect.
House: And the reason you want respect...?
Dr. Wilson: To get laid...
-
Dr. Cameron: I'm just wondering if you think we could apply the same logic to Carly's Sed rate.
House: That's absurd. I love it.
-
Dr. Cameron: My Aunt Eliza lives in Philadelphia.
House: Oh, it's story time! Let me get my ba-ba.
-
Dr. Foreman: Yeah, (Vogler) took (House's) parking space.
Dr. Cameron: That's not necessarily bad news.
Dr. Foreman: Do you ever watch Gilligan's Island reruns and really really think they're going to get off the island this time?
-
Dr. Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.
House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.
-
Ricky: He had knee surgery.
House: Right.
Ricky: About a year ago. And then he couldn't talk.
House: Right. Well, that happens. It's very dangerous operating close to the vocal chords.
-
Dr. Cuddy: (House's) different.
Vogler: Everyone's buddy?
Dr. Cuddy: No, not exactly . . .
-
House: She's the CEO of Sonyo Cosmetics. Three assistants and fifteen VPs checked out who should be treating her. Who da man? I da man. I always suspected.