Season 1 Episode 5

Damned If You Do

Aired Monday 9:00 PM Dec 14, 2004 on FOX
out of 10
User Rating
821 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

A nun whose hands are red, swollen and cracked is sent to House. The nun believes it is stigmata, but House suspects an allergic reaction. He gives her some pills, which cause her to become unable to breathe. As her condition worsens, her fellow sisters pray for her while House and his team work to discover the cause of her illness while House has to wonder if he misadministered the illness.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • this was a good ep

    a nun is sent to doctor house but thing is he does not really belive in faith and so she comes in with redness and other things and house gives her pills and then she cant breathed she thinks its god and she wants to be taken . and she thinks its asine from god and house does not belive that . and he must try to figure things out before its too late. and this was a good ep and it showd you anthor side of house . and that is why i gave the show a 8.5 instead of anyting lowermoreless
  • Well it was an average episoide

    Well, House's reaction to seeing the nun was priceless, Still he thought it was a simple case which caused him to think he made an error when she went into fit but he refuses to accept it. As per usual he investigate and get thrown off the case but knowing House like we know he didn't give in and spoke to the nun. Still that help with the tea but that didn't cure her. At this stage he has to give up but he refuses to give-up and get an idea to do full body scan. So it was copper wire, am i only thinking why didn't they do one when she was admitted to the hospital?.

    Other case, Santa claus well recommend Smoking to do a patient, i didn't know doctor were allowed to do that but it was amusing, it's upto the patient whether he would take the advice. I thought it was nice Camron to give house a present, am i sense she kinda of likes him. What was the present she give him, i want to know.

    Next week case look a bit more cool, finally we see blood vomitting, this is a medical drama so it took few episoide to have one these type of cases. Until next week that's it from me.moreless
  • Perhaps not one of their best, but I'm still willing to sit through it, so take that as a victory for the writers nonetheless

    This episode was fine, okay, all right.. average, in other words. I didn't quite get the Jewish jokes that House was making with his doctor buddy, but there were a few other priceless moments as usual [such as Cuddy eyeing the teabag he threw at her with suspicion- "What is this, hemlock?"]. On the whole, however, the nun storyline wasn't that engrossing, and the woman was rather insipid and colorless. When she starts hallucinating about 'the Lord', it gets a little cringeworthy- but at least it's not an extended scene. You'd think, though, that House would be a little more cautious with the treatments- he jumps from one to the other haphazardly, and he ranted in a previous episode how dangerous that was, to prescribe one thing then another, but does it himself. All those chemicals in the one body can't be very healthy...but still, an average episode of 'House' is worth far more than a whole heap of other shows, at the end of the day, and I stil found a few moments to enjoy, so it wasn't that bad.moreless
  • Not the best one so far. It looked a little worse compared to the awesome episode before it. Then again, it was still quite good.

    Great episode, they are all great. This one, however, I must say was not my favourite for a few reasons. I always love an episode with shocking or very unusual symptoms. This one did not really have much of either of these. This episode seemed to focus on more of the morals of the nuns' religion i think, or at least religion in general. I just did not find it all that interesting compared to the side stories of the others. This all changed when you found out the patient had been pregnant before and it instantly grew quite interesting.

    The final reveal was awesome too, the way it was done it was like a punch in the face!! A copper cross just sitting in your body for so long, almost unimaginable.

    Medical Problem: Allergic reactions to copper.

    Rating: 9.2/10moreless
  • How do you save a life, when they feel that it is divine intervention?

    This episode hit a little close to home, cause I feel the same way about most nuns. Most of them are evil, they are picky and they disapprove of everything. It’s no wonder why Dr. Chase felt the way he did. “Are you allowed to watch TV or do you think that’s the work of the devil?” But to have a woman get sick that way is insane. She started convulsing and seeing images of Christ. And automatically when a nun has marks on her palms it must be stigmata. Problem is that people associate Jesus to his death more than his message. People focus more of how he died and who’s to blame rather than trying to live for the heavenly father’s will. By the way I’m Catholic, but I also believe that there is more than one pathway to God, so I hope I haven’t belittled all the other wonderful religions out there. It’s interesting to find out that it was actually a copper tool stuck inside of her, from a self-abortion several years ago. It’s also interesting to see House being the Grinch of the hospital and others being nice to him. His small heart becomes ten times sizes to big when his ex-wife tells him he did a good job and Merry Christmas.moreless
Lisa Edelstein

Lisa Edelstein

Dr. Lisa Cuddy

Omar Epps

Omar Epps

Dr. Eric Foreman

Robert Sean Leonard

Robert Sean Leonard

Dr. James Wilson

Jesse Spencer

Jesse Spencer

Dr. Robert Chase

Jennifer Morrison

Jennifer Morrison

Dr. Allison Cameron

Hugh Laurie

Hugh Laurie

Dr. Gregory House

Lucinda Jenney

Lucinda Jenney

Sister Mary Eucharist

Guest Star

Dakin Matthews

Dakin Matthews

Marvin/Santa Claus Guy

Guest Star

Lori Rom

Lori Rom

Sister Mary Pius

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

  • QUOTES (25)

    • House: We are condemned to useless labor...
      Dr. Wilson: Fourth circle of Hell. Charting goes a lot faster when you eliminate all classic poetry.
      House: Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody. Pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless.
      Dr. Wilson: You're over two weeks behind in your charting.
      (Dr. Cuddy approaches them, and House throws a piece of paper towards her)
      House: Oops... I missed.

    • (House pages Dr. Chase with "call mom")
      Dr. Chase: My mother's been dead for 10 years.
      House: But she's always with you in spirit.

    • Dr. Cuddy: You have a patient in exam one!
      House: Yeah, but see... (looks towards the watch) I'm... I'm off at twelve and it's already five off...
      Dr. Cuddy: She's been waiting for you since eleven!
      House: (to Dr. Wilson) Melancholy without hope. Which circle is that?

    • House: She has God inside her. It would be easier to deal with a tumor.
      Dr. Wilson: Maybe she's allergic to God.

    • House: (to Sister Augustine) You must be all the talk around the holy water cooler.

    • House: You hate nuns. You can't hate someone if you don't know them.
      Dr. Chase: Know any Nazis? Maybe I hate them on principle.

    • Sister Eucharist: (The hypochondriac nun) tends to believe in things that aren't real.
      House: I thought that was a job description for you people.

    • Dr. Wilson: You want to come over for Christmas dinner?
      House: You're Jewish.
      Dr. Wilson: Yeah, Hanukkah dinner. What do you care -- it's food, it's people.

    • Dr. Wilson: Sixth circle of Hell?
      House: Confined in a sweat box with a bloody nose and all the tissues are soggy.
      Dr. Wilson: I think that's the Seventh?
      House: Nope. The Seventh . . .
      Dr. Wilson: God, you must be fun at parties.
      House: I think we both know the flaw in that theory.

    • House: You know how it is with nuns - take out their IUDs, they bounce right back.

    • (House tosses her a tea bag)
      Dr. Cuddy: What is this? Hemlock?

    • House: I had to open her blouse to do CPR, I learned two things. Nuns can have nice breasts, and she has a tattoo on her shoulder. Of a skunk. Now, maybe it's the sacred skunk of Joseph . . .

    • House: I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask.
      Mother Superior: Ah. And have you been speaking to Sister Eucharist?
      House: She ratted out her fellow sister pretty quickly. If I were you, I'd have her repeat a year of nun school.

    • House: And the old nun thinks the sick nun is a big fat nun liar.

    • House: What do you know about the nun?
      Dr. Chase: Which one?
      House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.

    • House: I am both amused and annoyed that you think I should be less stubborn then you are.

    • House: ("admitting" to giving the nun the wrong dosage of epinephrine) So there I was, in the clinic, drunk, I opened the drawer, closed my eyes, grabbed the first syringe I could find...

    • House: I also recognize that I am human and capable of error.
      Dr. Wilson: So you might have screwed this up?
      House: No.
      Dr. Wilson: So it's merely a theoretical capacity for error?
      House: Good point. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe that's my error.

    • Dr. Chase: I hate nuns.
      House: Who doesn't?

    • Dr. Foreman: Everyone screws up. Your rule. I think you fit within the subset of 'everyone'.
      House: I didn't screw up.

    • House: What the hell are those?
      Dr. Cameron: Candy canes.
      House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me.
      Dr. Cameron: No. It's, it's Christmas, and I thought...
      House: Relax – it's a joke.

    • Sister Eucharist: The sisters tend to interpret their illnesses as divine intervention.
      House: And you don't? Then you're wearing an awfully funny hat.

    • Sister Eucharist: Thank you for your patience.
      Dr. Wilson: Is she talking to you?
      House: I don't know. She's certainly looking at me...

    • House: I've been a doctor for years – why do I have to keep assuring people that I know what I'm doing?

    • Dr. Cuddy: What are you, eight?
      House: Could an eight year old do this? (makes a face)
      Dr. Cuddy: Better stop it or it'll stick that way.

  • NOTES (3)


    • House: Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody. Pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless.
      Wilson and House are alluding to Dante Alighieri's poem The Divine Comedy, in which the main character travels through nine circles of hell.

    • House recommending cigarettes
      The clinic patient, Marvin, dressed as Santa Claus, who is prescribed cigarettes by House for his inflammatory bowel. The whole thing is very reminiscent of an old Fry & Laurie first series sketch called "Doctor Tobacco." Laurie goes to see the "doctor" (Stephen Fry) for an examination. He complains of having trouble breathing at night and tightness in his chest. Fry tells him to smoke a cigarette twenty times a day, "ideally moving on to thirty or forty." Laurie complains that they cause lung cancer and emphysema. Fry dismisses the idea. They argue back and forth until Laurie insists that he'd like a second opinion. Fry offers that they're also cheap, nutritious and stylish. And if he's interested in a third opinion, they're also soothing, harmless and sexy. Turns out, Fry wasn't a doctor after all but a tobacconist.

    • Title
      Alluding to the quote made by Eleanor Roosevelt, The full quotation is, "Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."

    • House: How do you solve a problem like dermatitis?
      House plays off of the main chorus of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" from The Sound of Music.