House

Season 2 Episode 9

Deception

1
Aired Monday 9:00 PM Dec 13, 2005 on FOX

Trivia

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  • Trivia

    • This episode has a scene outside in the snow and everything is covered in snow. But House is able to find a bench to sit on that doesn't even need to be wiped off and is perfectly clean.

    • Trivia: When Foreman and Chase are confirming Anica's diagnosis in House's office after her second seizure, you can see House playing Grave Digger on his computer. The game is acknowledged in the end credits.

  • Quotes

    • Dr. Foreman: No worries. I'll let you keep your parking space.
      House: You can have it. You'll also need my handicap placard. Bend over.

    • Dr. Foreman: I don't see a regrowth, did you get the medical records faxed over?
      House: Work smart, not hard, that's my philosophy boss.
      Dr. Foreman: I'll take that as a no.

    • Dr. Foreman: Yeah, you're all about the nurture.
      House: Do you need a hug?

    • Dr. Foreman: You injected her against her will, just so you could be right?
      House: She consented.
      Dr. Foreman: She's mentally ill.
      House: But she smells oh so sweet.

    • Dr. Foreman: You ordered MRIs for the whole maternity wing?
      House: I was in a crazy mood, good thing I got a new boss to back me up, although I think one of them was actually necessary.

    • (House and Cameron break into Anica's house)
      Dr. Cameron: There's even books in the bathroom.
      House: Either she's very smart or she has a fiber deficiency.

    • Dr. Cameron: Scan showed a mass in her pancreas.
      Dr. Chase: Looks malignant, probably inoperable... I'd give her two months.
      House: On the bright side, still means I was right.

    • Dr. Chase: Why don't you just get the sample yourself? Since when do you care what your boss said?
      House: I don't care what anybody says, I care what they do. Right now, Blackpoleon Blackaparte has got the nurses on red alert, I can't get into the patient's room. So come on, I'll draw the enemy fire, you outflank them, get in there, get the bone marrow sample.

    • Dr. Wilson: (talking about House) And you want my advice on how to usurp him? It's very ancient Rome, you'll need a toga, of course, a sword…

    • Dr. Wilson: House assisting. That is funny. Too bad Foreman's gonna die.

    • House: Sorry, I missed that. Hearing's been off since the Ricky Martin concert. Some cholo kicked me in the head.

    • House: What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex? Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.

    • Dr. Foreman: She a regular at OTB. Somehow I don't see her holding down a nine-to-five and going to PTA meetings.
      House: I was there and I have a nine-to-three job.

    • Dr. Cameron: It's the irony of women in charge, they don't like other women in charge. What, you think it's something else?
      Dr. Chase: You sabotaged yourself. You went on a date with House, you slept with me. Putting you in charge of this department is like a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.
      Dr. Cameron: Yeah, they're really worried that I'm going to create a hostile work environment.
      Dr. Chase: Maybe that's the problem. Being in charge means having to say no to House. Would you hire you for that?

    • Dr. Cameron: How would you describe my leadership skills?
      House: Non-existent. Otherwise excellent.

    • Dr. Cameron: She's got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Tuesday and an appointment with her gynecologist on Thursday. Multiple appointments with multiple doctors...symptom of Munchausen's.
      House: Or, just thinking outside the box here, she has a vagina and trouble reading.

    • Dr. Foreman: Dr. Wilson, can I talk to you about something in confidence?
      Dr. Wilson: Of course.
      Dr. Foreman: It's about House.
      Dr. Wilson: Oh, then no.

    • House: Nice move, boss. Way to cover your ass.
      Dr. Foreman: I just agreed with you.
      House: Not because you think I'm right. You're just taking the safe route. You're a wuss. Don't worry--your secret's safe with me. (steps into hallway, shouts so everyone can hear) Hey, Wilson! Guess what Foreman just did!

    • Dr. Foreman: What do you expect me to do, House? Quit? Cry?
      House: Actually, I expect you to act like what you are--my employee, my subordinate, my bitch.

    • House: Do you like Teeny Tiny Moe in the fifth?
      Anica: I went four for six yesterday. You want winners, cure me first.

    • House: Are you trying to cop a feel?
      Do-Gooder: I took a CPR class.
      House: That would be useful if she were having a heart attack instead of a seizure.

    • Anica: You might as well burn your money.
      House: I'll burn my winnings – bigger flame.

    • Dr. Chase: Gambling doesn't take away (House's) pain.
      House: It does when I win.

    • House: Chase killed that woman and Foreman's in charge?
      Dr. Cuddy: Yeah, we have a pecking order here. If Cameron kills someone, Chase takes over. We have a flowchart in the lobby.

    • House: You probably shouldn't have sex for a while.
      Hailey: For how long?
      House: On an evolutionary basis, I'd recommend…forever.

    • House: At the end of 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf," the wolf really does come. And he eats the sheep, and the boy, and the parents.
      Dr. Chase: The wolf doesn't eat the parents.
      House: It does when I tell it.

    • Technician: You're gonna need more blood.
      House: Patient's empty.
      Technician: Then I can't do it.
      House: You can try.
      Technician: I can try to look like Salma Hayek – it's not gonna make it happen.
      House: You may not have Salma's ass, but she doesn't have your eyes.
      Technician: Yeah, right. (after looking at a smiling House) How soon you need it?

    • Dr. Chase: I also realize that no matter what you do, you're still going to treat me like crap.
      House: 'Crap' is a relative term.

  • Notes

    • Music: The music in this episode is "Christmas Time Is Here" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

  • Allusions

    • House: I love the smell of pus in the morning – it smells like victory.
      Paraphrasing/misquoting the line from Apocalypse Now spoken by Kilgore: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory."

    • Anica: I think you gave me the form intended for FDR.
      Cynthia Nixon was one of the stars of an HBO original movie Warm Springs about the life of FDR in which she played his wife. She was announced as a nominee for a Golden Globe for that role on the same day as this episode's original airing. The question she had to answer was about if she was vaccinated for polio. FDR was diagnosed with polio in 1921. He taught himself to walk short distances by supporting himself with a cane. In 2003, a peer-reviewed study found that it was more likely that Roosevelt's paralytic illness was actually Guillain-Barré syndrome, not poliomyelitis.

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