Season 1 Episode 9


Aired Monday 9:00 PM Feb 01, 2005 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Chase and Cameron perform brain surgery on their patient. You have to be a surgeon, and a qualified one at that, to perform that procedure. Chase and Cameron are not.

  • Quotes

    • House: (to Foreman) You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong. That's the difference between (Hamilton) and me. He thinks you do your job and what will be will be. I think that what I do and what you do matters. He sleeps better at night. He shouldn't.

    • Giles: How many of those pills you taking?
      House: I'm in pain.
      Giles: Yes, aren't we all?

    • House: And that's all you are? Musician?
      Giles: I got one thing, same as you.
      House: Really? Well apparently you know me better than I know you.
      Giles: I know that limp. I know the empty ring finger. And that obsessive nature of yours, that's a big secret.You don't risk jail and your career to save somebody who doesn't want to be saved, unless you got something. Anything. One thing. The reason normal people got wives and kids and hobbies, whatever, that's because they ain't got that one thing that--that hits a man hard and that true. I got music, you got this, the thing you think about all the time, the thing that keeps you south of normal. Yeah, makes us great, makes us the best. All we miss out on is everything else. No woman waiting at home after work with a drink and a kiss, that ain't gonna happen for us.
      House: That's why God made microwaves.
      Giles: Yeah. And when it's over, it's over.
      House: Yeah. (House opens the door and starts to move Giles' bed out of the room)
      Giles: What are you doing?
      House: It's not over for me. Either you're gonna call the cops again or we're doing this. If you wanna die you can do it easily inside an MRI machine.

    • Dr. Cuddy: When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done… Trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you I also set aside $50,000 a year for legal expenses. So far you've come in under budget.

    • Dr. Wilson: So your philosophy is, if they don't want treatment they get it shoved down their throat, but if it might cure their paralysis, Whoa, you'd better slow down.
      House: Yeah, My old philosophy used to be "Live and Let Live," but I'm taking this needlepoint class and they gave us these really big pillows.
      Dr. Wilson: What's your philosophy on employee relations?
      House: That's a very tiny pillow.

    • House: Phone works. Next time you want to make me feel all warm and fuzzy, leave a message.

    • Marty Hamilton: You enjoy working with Dr. House?
      Dr. Foreman: Not the word I'd use . . .

    • Dr. Wilson: (to House) Some doctors have the messiah complex-–they need to save the world. You got the Rubik's complex-–you need to solve the puzzle.

    • House: Can we get the lecture over with, because I've got a... actually, I've got nothing to do. Take your time.

    • Server: Dr. House?
      House: Cuddy sent me a stripper again? Love that woman--so thoughtful.

    • Dr. Foreman: You assaulted that man.
      House: Fine, I'll never do it again.
      Dr. Foreman: Yes, you will.
      House: All the more reason this debate is pointless.

    • Dr. Foreman: What is wrong with you?
      House: Everyone knows what's wrong with me. What's wrong with him is much more interesting.

    • Willie: My pants tell you I have diabetes?
      House: No, they tell me you're an idiot.

    • House: What about the paralysis?
      Dr. Foreman: We're sticking to the pneumonia.
      House: Well, you certainly are, boss. Like a wet tongue sticks to dry ice.

    • House: Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up.

    • Dr. Cuddy: Forget (Giles') paralysis.
      House: Tell that to the rest of his bowling team.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Wilson: Yeah, and that girl dropped the charges against Kobe. Doesn't mean that he should call her and see if she's free to get a sundae.
      Referring to Kobe Bryant who had a sexual assault charge made against him by a woman whom he claimed he had had consensual sex with but who charged him with rape. She later dropped the charges and settled out of court with him in a civil lawsuit.

    • House: Your fingers. They show signs of clubbing, which indicate a health problem. Remember Bart Giamatti? Same thing, just dropped dead one day.
      Bart Giamatti was Commissioner of Major League Baseball in 1989. He ruled that Pete Rose should receive a lifetime suspension for gambling and later died suddenly of a massive heart attack a few weeks later.

    • House: I watched Matlock last night.
      Matlock was a series that ran from 1986 to 1995 on ABC and NBC and starred Andy Griffith as a lawyer and senior citizen.

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