House

House: You're early. Thirteen: For what? House: I knew you'd show up here complaining about Foreman.

Dr. Foreman: No House, the job's still the same. Thirteen: Even though there's something missing... Taub: I'm short, he's black, you're gay-ish. Thirteen: (nods) That's it.

House: I quit. Dr. Foreman: You can't quit. House: I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal.

House: I'm sorry. I know this will affect both of you.. and Thirteen... and the one with the nose.

Dr. Cuddy: But House was a genius. Dr. Foreman: House was an egotistical pill-popping lawsuit magnet... and a genius.

Dr. Cameron: You know how House feels about people touching his ball. Dr. Foreman: No. Chase refuses to tell me. Dr. Cameron: Right. My husband's gay. Witty.

House: You already made me get a roommate. Wilson's got one bedroom. We can't get any more connected without unzipping.

Instructor: In a lot of ways, cooking is like music. Different elements combine to make a symphony. House: Difference is that Beethoven's 5th isn't going to be poop tomorrow. Dr. Wilson: What was my one condition for allowing you to tag along? House: Try not to be a jerk. I'm trying. I'm just failing. Dr. Wilson: Roll your meatballs and keep an open mind. (House smirks) How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now. House: They're smoking. Your balls. Dr. Wilson: Oh! Ow. No, no. They're browning way too fast. House: Blue is the color you've got to watch out for. Dr. Wilson: Enough. My god, they're... they're still raw inside. By the time they're cooked through, the outside will be burned. House: I think there's a medicated powder for that.

Dr. Wilson: Did you even go to bed last night? House: Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex. In which case.. no, bed is still for sissies.

Thirteen: This might be the best thing I've ever eaten. (House smirks) And, yes, I'm including what you're thinking of now.

Dr. Wilson: You said it was keeping your mind off the pain. House: That was before I discovered the Biggest Loser marathon on cable. I like to pretend they can see me eating.

Dr. Foreman: I brought you a doughnut. The florist was closed. Thirteen: I'll get a vase and put it in water.

House: (to Cuddy) Et tu, bootay?