House

Dr. Cameron: What did House say? Dr. Foreman: "The person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable."

House: (Speaking about Mark) So you had a fight. I'm sure it'll blow over. Stacy It was about nothing. House: Of course it was. Mark's tired. He's worried. He's got mobility problems. It's normal to blow up over little things. Stacy: I don't mind fighting over little things. I didn't mind fighting over big things. That I could understand. We fight over nothing. You know, a mail box with a sign that says, "Last pickup 5:00 p.m." Does that mean last pickup to go to the post office, or last pickup to leave the post office and be sent out of town? House: You fought over mail delivery?

Stacy: Why does this matter to you? House: It's an anomaly. Anomalies bug me. Stacy: Then you're going to suffer.

Dr. Chase: (to Foreman) The only thing you've been asked to do is supervise House in case he does something insane. Dr. Cameron: Which might, you know, save a life.

Dr. Cameron: The more devoted, the more reason to lie. House: That's cynical. Dr. Cameron: You disagree? House: No, I'm just kvelling. Our little girl is growing up.

Dr. Foreman: In one of (Fletch's) books he talked about giving up drugs and alcohol. Said how it changed his life. Chase: (imitating House) Everybody lies.

Cuddy: You woke me up to lie to a patient?

House: You know, "Stacy" in the original Greek means "relationship killer."

House: (talking about Viagra) A woman has a heart condition, she's on her own. A man can't nail his office assistant, it's national crisis time.

Stacy: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up. House: That makes no sense at all.

Dr. Chase: You're not my boss. Dr. Foreman: I'm House's boss. House is your boss. The math is pretty simple.

Peter Foster: Are you trying to bribe me? House: No. I could. There's an ATM in the lobby. Stacy: My client is an idiot.

Dr. Chase: We've got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine. House: I teach you to lie and cheat and steal, and as soon as my back is turned, you wait in line?

Dr. Foreman: (to Chase) You have a point to make, or did you just feel like giving a long unnecessary speech for something medically irrelevant?

Dr. Wilson: Do you know your phone's dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries? House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.

Dr. Cameron: Maybe House is wrong. House: (pause) I hope that's not the end of the thought.

Dr. Cuddy: Tell me, if it is your aim to sell me the same crazy ideas that House does, how are you an improvement on House? Dr. Foreman: I brought you a coffee!