House Season 3 Episode 21

House: Ten thousand possible infections, at least 20 minutes per test, take you approximately eight years.
Dr. Foreman: Actually, four months, assuming the last one I test is the right one. If it's the first, it'll take me approximately 20 minutes.
Dr. Wilson: He's right, it's worth a shot.
House: He's timid. Testing blindly is not gonna save this kid.
Dr. Foreman: But standing around here will.

Dr. Foreman: I'm not like you. A patient died because you were distracted over the death of your dad. I made a calculated decision. You acted like a human being. I acted like.. (pause) House.

Dr. Wilson: How many hours a day do you have to spend with someone before they're basically family?
House: Good point. But first, I gotta tell Cameron and Chase that they're violating God's will.

Dr. Wilson: How, exactly, does a dog unscrew a bottle of pills?
House: Is that a riddle?

Dr. Wilson: We're done with Nick?
House: God is done with Nick.

Dr. Foreman: You'll save more people than I will. But I'll settle for killing less. Consider this my two weeks' notice.

Dr. Wilson: I did exactly what Cuddy told us not to do.
House: No, you didn't. You did exactly what she told me not to do. You're completely in the clear.

Dr. Foreman: I want to recheck the national marrow registry for an alternate donor.
House: In case we're wrong?
Dr. Foreman: It's been known to happen.

Dr. Foreman: I don't wanna turn into you.
House: You're not. You've been like me since you were eight years old.

House: Adults don't need adult conversations. Just like I don't need this conversation.

House: (to Wilson) That was awesome! I gotta start pretending to care.

Dr. Cameron: (about House's new cane) Flames?
House: Makes it look like I'm going faster.

House: Hey, you're not going to believe it. Wilson killed a kid just like you.
Dr. Wilson: He's not dead.
House: Five days are gonna fly by.

Dr. Wilson: I treat patients for months, maybe years, not weeks like you.
House: I'm taller.

Dr. Foreman: He has acute scrotum.
House: Adorable. Please, I thought you were dignified. Come on, how am I not supposed to make that joke.

House: You're not protecting your choices; you're soothing your conscience.
Dr. Wilson: By that logic a sociopath would make the best patient advocate in the world.
House: Am I blushing?

House: What is the point in being able to control people if you won't actually do it? It's like training a dog and then letting him go on your rug.

House: You want to catch a movie?
Dr. Wilson: It's one in the morning.
House: I know a place. Although I wouldn't recommend wearing those shoes.

House: I'm sorry.
Dr. Wilson: Okay.
(long pause)
House: You're pathetic. I didn't actually mean that.
Dr. Wilson: Yes you did.
House: No I didn't. To infinity.
Dr. Wilson: Yes you did. You're pathetic.

House: You're a sneaky bastard. Any ideas how we get around this?
Dr. Chase: Court order.
House: That's hardly sneaky.

House: Wow, he sure is hurting.
Scott: Nurses said he maxed out on his pain meds.
House: If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.

House: Pride and shame only apply to people we have a vested interest in, not employees.

Dr. Foreman: (to House) I hate that in order to be like you as a doctor, I have to be like you as a human being.

Salesman: Genuine bull penis stretched over a metal rod.
House: Penis canes are murder.

House: (to Wilson) If that kid dies, it's because Foreman is wrong and you're a coward.

Dr. Cameron: Are you okay?
House: I just tripped over Wilson's self-righteousness.