Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Dr. Eric Foreman
Dr. James Wilson
Dr. Allison Cameron
Dr. Robert Chase
Dr. Gregory House
House: A Portuguese man was diagnosed three years ago with C.N.S.-affected sleeping sickness. His only connection with Africa was through a girlfriend who'd served with the military in Angola.
Dr. Chase: Boy. Where'd you find that?
House: The Journal of the Instituto de Higiene e Medicinia Tropical. You don't read Portuguese?
Dr. Cameron: You do?
House: Pretty sure that's what it said. Either that or it was an ad for sunglasses.
House: You check her E.K.G. results before she left the other day?
Dr. Wilson: You ordered it.
House: You're the responsible one.
(Speaking to Wilson and Cuddy about Cuddy)
House: She's all upset 'cause we paid more attention to the other girl. You check out her ass. I've got the chest.
Dr. Cuddy: It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, do the complications increase exponentially with cup size?
Dr. Wilson: I'm not gonna date a patient's daughter.
House: Very ethical. Of course, most married men would say they don't date at all.
House: Fever. Clinical depression does not cause fever.
Dr. Foreman: She could be sick and depressed.
House: She's sick. Dammit, why didn't I think of that?
House: You can't be that good and well-adjusted.
Dr. Cameron: Why?
House: Because you wind up crying over centrifuges.
Dr. Cameron: Or hating people...
House: It's a very sad thing, an uncalibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry too.
House: As long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.
House: So between us, we can do anything. We can rule the world!
Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
House: You certainly love saying it.
House: I don't ask why patients lie - I just assume they all do.
House: You coughed the other day. I was concerned.
Dr. Cameron: You were curious. Like an eight-year old boy with a puzzle that's just a little too grown-up for him to figure out.
House: To-may-toe, to-mah-toe.
Dr. Cameron: You want me to ask a man whose wife is about to die if he cheated on her?
House: No, I want you to be polite and let her die.
Dr. Foreman: Sleeping sickness from sex?
House: It's not without precedent.
Dr. Foreman: I'm pretty sure it is, unless you're talking about going to Africa and having sex with the tsetse fly.
House: You told me you hadn't changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
Samantha: My husband?
House: Yeah, see, if you're going to repeat everything I say, this conversation's going to take twice as long.
Dr. Cuddy: The tests were normal. Of course, that's just my opinion. You might want to call a couple of guys from Maintenance in for a consult.
House: So what's her name and when do I get to meet her?
Dr. Wilson: There's nobody! Give it up!
House: Your lips say no, but your shoes say yes.
Dr. Wilson: They're French. You can't trust a word they say.
Dr. Foreman: How come (House) doesn't ride you guys?
Dr. Chase: He's got a crush on you. He just doesn't know how to show it.
Dr. Foreman: Why are you riding on me?
House: It's what I do. Has it gotten worse lately?
Dr. Foreman: Yeah. Seems to me.
House: Really? Well, that rules out the race thing. You were just as black last week.
Dr. Foreman: We looked at everything else
Dr. Wilson: Did you look at her breasts?
Cuddy: (to House) You're ordering tests to cover your lechery. Interesting.
House: You want to look pretty. At work. (singing) Wilson's got a girlfriend . . .
Dr. Wilson: Well. That's what breasts look like.
Samantha: (My breasts) were a present for my husband's 40th. I figured he'd enjoy them more than a sweater.
House: That's so sweet.
House: Husband described her as being unusually irritable recently.
Dr. Cameron: And . . . ?
House: I didn't realize it was possible for a woman to be "unusually" irritable.
Dr. Cameron: Nice try, but you're a misanthrope, not a misogynist.
House: Clinical depression. Incredibly contagious. Every time I'm around one of them, I get blue.
On the TV after House finishes watching his soap and the credits roll, there are in-joke references to staff members Marcy G. Kaplan (Associate Producer, Co-Producer), Geoffrey Colo (Publicity Manager), and Cindy Carr (Wardrobe, Set Decorator).
Original title: "Truth or Consequences"
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