Season 3 Episode 5

Fools for Love

Aired Monday 9:00 PM Oct 31, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Trivia: This episode marks the first time that House has ever lost a bet.

    • At the end of the episode, the police officer pulls House over, and tells him his pupils are dilated. The officer alludes to this as being an indication of being under the influence. Throughout the show, Dr. House has used opiate medications for pain, namely Vicodin. Vicodin does not dilate the pupils. Opiate medications, in general, constrict the pupils. Dilated pupils would be indicative of other drug misuse, such as benzodiazapenes, but not Vicodin or any other painkiller. Also, it's night so House's pupils would be dilated regardless.

  • Quotes

    • Dr. Foreman: My exes have usually been black, so what? Its not a racial thing, its cultural. I have more in common with them, like, I assume you only date emotionally-stunted bigots.

    • House: No empty coffee cups. Off the caffeine. Good for baby.
      Dr. Cuddy: Cups are in the other waste basket, baby is in your mind.

    • Tritter: You don't introduce yourself?
      House: Sorry, I thought you were waiting two hours... didn't know you wanted to chat. Hi, I'm Greg! How 'bout that local sports team?

    • House: Give her the same food she ate at the diner and stick her on the treadmill.
      Dr. Foreman: Better yet, put a gun to her head; threaten to rape her.

    • House: Who's he talking to?
      Dr. Cameron: What?
      House: It's got an ass. Technically that makes it a "who."

    • House: If he's not hitting that, then why is she here?
      Dr. Cameron: Because I'm hitting that, and it's totally hot.
      (everyone stares)

    • House: How many more failed relationships are we both going to have to deal with before you learn to love yourself? And I mean that in a literal way.
      Dr. Wilson: It's amazing how you can not only know it's a relationship, but that it's a bad relationship, based on nothing but… nothing.

    • House: You're lying to me. That's interesting.
      Dr. Wilson: Well, as long as it's interesting.

    • Tritter: You're rude.
      House: Wow… you're like a detective or something.

    • Tritter: So you treat everyone around like they're idiots. And you get away with it. Because of your cane.
      House: Please stop. It's hard to write through the haze of bitter tears.

    • Tritter: Last nurse you made fun of, probably slipped some crap into your coffee.
      House: Uhhh, I asked for decrapinated coffee.

    • House: Told you it wouldn't work.
      Dr. Foreman: It worked on the wrong patient.
      House: We could spend all day arguing right or wrong. Give me the hundred bucks.
      Dr. Foreman: We didn't bet.
      House: We could spend all day arguing whether we bet or not. Give me the hundred bucks.

    • Dr. Chase: Great, I haven't committed any felonies yet today.
      House: Relax, you know they're going to blame… (nods to Foreman)

    • House: Infectious or environmental. All we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, toxins, radiation, chemicals, or it's internet porn-related. I'll check the internet, you cover the rest of the stuff.

    • House: There's a reason that we don't let kids vote, or drink, or work in salt mine. They're idiots! Twenty-year-olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters. Which they should do more often.

    • House: Have any of your shorties ever been whiteys?
      Dr. Foreman: I'm not sure I understand your ghetto slang, Dr. House. How many black women have you dated, by the way?
      House: I don't care about color, as long as they can help me breed a superior race.

    • Dr. Cuddy: You need to apologize to this guy.
      House: I'm a man of principle. I don't care how much time and money it costs you to defend me.

    • Dr. Cuddy: Pay attention to me!
      House: Sorry, that would make it harder to ignore you. Can't ignore that rapidly-expanding first-trimester ass, though.
      Dr. Cuddy: Sometimes an ass is just an ass

    • Dr. Wilson: Oh. Oh! You stole Wendy's personnel file?
      House: In a way, aren't we all guilty of bribing the janitor to take her file and give it to me. Yes, I take my share of the blame, but isn't society…?

    • Dr. Wilson: Your real fear is me having a good relationship.
      House: Yes, it keeps me up at night. That and the Loch Ness Monster, global warming, evolution, other fictional concepts.

    • Dr. Chase: The brain stem? Brain damage is not only possible, it's likely.
      House: Good point. Let's biopsy something safer… like her shoes.

    • Dr. Cuddy: Something goes wrong, he'll sue us for not disclosing the risks.
      House: Then have Wilson talk to the husband. Wilson kills people left and right, no one ever sues him.
      Dr. Cuddy: Fine, but only if you apologize to the clinic guy.
      House: Nah. Probably better to just let that couple die.
      Dr. Cuddy: I don't care if you mean it… just do it

    • House: Great job. Why don't you just shoot them in the head.
      Dr. Wilson: Hold on, that gives me an idea. You know what could save this couple: lots of misdirected sarcasm.

    • House: Shoot him up with one of these puppies instead.
      Dr. Cameron: No!
      House: You do understand, it's not really a puppy.

    • Dr. Chase: Give it up. Foreman and Cameron are too ethical. And I'm too scared of getting sued.

    • Dr. Cameron: He knew we'd stop him. He stuck both of them in his pocket.
      Dr. Chase: That's actually pretty clever.

    • Tritter: I don't want to sue you.
      House: Good.
      Tritter: I want to beat the crap out of you.
      House: Less good.

    • Dr. Foreman: The cause, the brother-sister thing…
      House: Good plan. You just gotta keep 'em away from doctors, the internet, and anyone who's not a total moron.

    • House: You can't bet when you know the answer beforehand.
      Dr. Foreman: We could spend all day arguing whether you can bet when you know the answer beforehand. Give me the two hundred bucks.

    • House: Aw, c'mon. This isn't because I was speeding. This is because I'm Latino.

  • Notes

    • International Air Dates:
      The Netherlands: July 17, 2007 on SBS6 Greece: October 20, 2007 on Star
      The Czech Republic: December 10, 2007 on TV Nova
      Belgium: January 3, 2008 on KanaalTwee
      Sweden: March 4, 2008 on TV4
      Norway: Thursday, August 14, 2008 on NRK1

    • Music: Walter Reed (Michael Penn)

  • Allusions

    • Holdup Man: ...Time to make the doughnuts...
      This line is from a popular old Dunkin' Donuts commercial, in which a tired employee is getting up at 2 a.m. in the morning to go into work, muttering the line to himself groggily.

    • Title
      The title itself is more than a passing allusion to a Sam Shepard play called Fool for Love. Other similarities to the play: the main characters, May and Eddie, are half-siblings who were incestously involved when they were younger prior to finding out about their familial connection and the parent of one of them (May's mother in the play as opposed to Jeremy's father in the House episode) committed suicide after failing to keep the young lovers from getting together.

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