House

Amber: You mean it appeared normal to the doc in the ER. House: Way to get right back on that horse, Thirteen. Thirteen: No, that was Amber. House: Nice try, Cutthroat Bitch. That was the worst Thirteen imitation I've ever heard.

House: That is just great. Henry: What is? Taub: Which one of us is? House: Both of you. Together. Fighting. Passionate to prove the other wrong. Couldn't care less about the patient, but it all works out the same. Amber: I hate Thirteen. House: Not as productively.

Dr. Cuddy: How many of them agreed to dig up a grave? House: Six. But don't worry, the one who didn't didn't stand on principle. He just had a diaper to change. I really think there are no bad choices in this group.

Amber: Sorry I'm late. Taub: Where the hell have you been. Amber: Oh, I got lost. Kutner: Been here over three hours. Amber: Really lost.

Amber: Dr. Cuddy, I'm Amber Volakis, one of Dr. House's new fellows. Dr. Cuddy: Sexual harassment claims go through HR, Stress-related leaves through workman's comp and any accusations of criminal activities go directly to the Princeton Plainsboro's police department.

House: (over the phone) Goooood morning, Angels. As you will see from the file, we have quite the interesting case. Not often you get a patient who sees dead people. Dr. Kutner: What file? House: What the hell? I gave it to Bosley a half-hour ago. Dr. Cameron: ( enters House's office carrying a latte) It was not a half-hour, it was ten minutes, and he made copies of the ER records first. House: Less lip, more whip. I only agreed to take this case because you said that this mocha frappalicious would have whip on it. Dr. Cameron: I'll refer the case to Foreman. House: Can't. Mercy fired him. Dr. Cameron: He got fired? House: Disobeyed a superior officer under fire. He's lucky he wasn't executed. Dr. Cameron: How do you know about it? You keeping tabs on him? House: Girls talk.

Dr. Cameron: You're gonna collect a hundred dollars and fire him because he has principles? House: What's your agenda here? You obviously don't care about the hundred. Dr. Cameron: He's a decent, smart... House: You don't care about the team. Dr. Cameron: Does it annoy Wilson when you ask questions and ignore the answers? House: Very much. You only care about who I hire and who I fire. Because you miss going through my mail. You can't stop controlling me. Dr. Cameron: No one controls you. House: You want your job back? Dr. Cameron: No. House: Too bad, you can't have it.

House: Idiot! From the old French, Ed-I-Ot. meaning effeminate, mentally deficient Moor.

Taub: Shouldn't we be running? Kutner: If it's a cop, run. Security guard, I say we take him down.

Dr. Wilson: You're quite impressed with yourself right now, aren't you? House: Who wouldn't be?

House: There are seven of you and only six roses. Kutner: Those are peonies… (House glares) ...but I'm sure they're part of the rose family.

Taub: Why does he get to be Bosley? Kutner: You want to be Bosley? Bosley's like the asexual messenger boy.

House: Big Love, have I humiliated you in the last half hour? Cole: No. House: Check your e-mail.

Dr. Cameron: (collecting a bet) Cash will be fine. House: I bet you say that to all the guys.

Dr. Cuddy: (to Foreman) You're House Lite now. The only administrator that will touch you is the one who hired House Classic.

Dr. Cuddy: The doctor's lounge is covered in mud. House: Thirteen and Cut-Throat Bitch had a disagreement, and the cafeteria was out of jello.