Half-Wit

Season 3, Episode 15, Aired

Trivia

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  • Trivia

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    • At the opening credits after House snatches the paper bag of breakfast from the table, the bagel he pulls out is plain, but is flat on one side. When the camera cuts back, it is round on all sides. He takes a bite and the camera cuts away and then cuts back, and it is now a sesame seed bagel with one flattened side.
    • Trivia: We learn that Cuddy is Jewish. She has a menorah on her living room.
    • In the last episode there was a lot of snow outside. Here, one day later, all the snow is gone.
    • Trivia: This is the first time we see House wearing prescription glasses while he's repairing what looks like a videocamera in his office.

  • Quotes

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    • House: What the hell were you before you hit your head? Patrick: "Hell" is a bad word. House: So is "ass," "bitch," I could probably rattle off 50 much more complicated and disgusting ones, but then your dad would get pissed at me.
    • House: You know what my team is doing right now? Patrick: No. House: They're trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Patrick: What's wrong with you? House: Thanks for asking. They found out that I'm dying. Patrick: That's sad. House: Everyone's dying. Patrick: That's sad. House: If a meteor lands on my head tomorrow it's all academic. I told them to leave me alone, but did they? Patrick: Did they? House: That one was rhetorical.
    • Dr. Wilson: Are you curious about heroin? House: Not since last year's Christmas party.
    • Dr. Cameron: You're just looking for a puzzle to distract you from your own situation. House: You're right. He's dead. Let's go home.
    • Dr. Foreman: I need to say something. House: Something personal? Dr. Foreman: Yeah. House: I can't leave because you have something interesting in that file. Dr. Foreman: Sorry. (House sits down and looks at Dr. Foreman) Dr. Foreman: You're an arrogant ass who makes impossible for anyone to like you, a bunch of people don't deserve... House: Can we get to the "but" part of this speech? Dr. Foreman: But I like you. House: No, you don't. You're just reacting to the perception of my death. Need to put things in order. Feel guilt. Dr. Foreman: Just shut up. House: See? I annoy you.
    • House: (to Cameron, after getting kissed and almost stabbed by her) Foreman's and Chase's lips are not getting so close now that I know your plan.
    • (Cameron and Chase enter House's home and turn on the light) Dr. Cameron: I'll take in here. Bedrooms are down the hall. Dr. Chase: You've been here? Dr. Cameron: Where else would the bedrooms be? Dr. Chase: (walking by Cameron) Come with? Dr. Cameron: You're scared of him catching us breaking into his home but you're not scared of him catching us doing it in his bed? Dr. Chase: If I'm gonna get fired anyway.
    • House: Do you like your life? Patrick: What life?
    • House: (as Chase enters) Your turn. Dr. Chase: Do you have to do that? House: You mean, cheapen everyone's intent by identifying the real calculations that go in to it? Dr. Chase: Yeah. House: Yeah. Dr. Chase: I'm sorry you're dying. I'm gonna hug you. Anything to say? House: Well, if you're considering grabbing my ass, don't start anything... (Chase hugs him) ...you can't finish.
    • Dr. Chase: (leaving room) I'm going back to bed. House: (enters room) Where are you going? Dr. Chase: Uh... bathroom, it can wait.
    • Dr. Cuddy: It's the middle of the night. You knew I'd be asleep. House: Phone would have woken you up just as much... but I can't see what you're wearing on the phone.
    • Dr. Chase: You can't just randomly stab the temporal lobe and hope you hit the right spot. House: I'll only take little tiny pieces. Dr. Cameron: Until what? House: Until I find the problem. Dr. Cameron: Or you kill him. House: No, I'll keep going even if I kill him.
    • Dr. Cameron: But you kissed back. House: I didn't want you to die not knowing what it feels like. Actually, no woman should die without knowing the feeling.
    • Dr. Foreman: Although he was testing blood in the clinic... don't think it was a patient's blood. Dr. Cameron: Why, it was green?
    • Dr. Wilson: I could set up an tower on the roof during a lightning storm, help you switch brains with your patient. Then you would be the brilliant pianist, and he would be the doctor hiding brain cancer from his friend. House: It's nothing. Dr. Wilson: You need to talk about it. House: You need to talk about it. Dr. Wilson: At least let me look at your medical file. House: You're making a big deal out of nothing. Who else knows? Dr. Wilson: No one, and cancer isn't nothing. House: Sorry, I didn't mean to offend your specialty.
    • House: This is going to be personal, isn't it? Dr. Foreman: Yeah. (House leaves)
    • Dr. Foreman: Savantism is just one of those things. It's… inexplicable. House: Just because it's inexplicted doesn't mean it's inexplicable.
    • House: Patrick, I want you to pretend that your leg is a piano. Patrick: My leg isn't a piano. House: I know, that's why I said "pretend." (sotto voce) The kid's a moron.
    • House: Did you come for my feelings? Because I left 'em in my other pants.
    • House: Twenty seconds. Pretty good. Dr. Cameron: For what. House: The time it took you to go from hard-ass to human being.
    • House: (to Cuddy) Lets say I'm the left side of Patrick's brain, I'm quick-witted, I'm charming, I'm great looking. You're the right side of his brain. You're useless, old, damaged. We go to a bar for a drink. Now, I have the mad skills to be scoring all the hot babes, but instead, I'm spending my time wiping drool off your chin and making sure you don't eat the tablecloth.
    • (About House's high school photo) Dr. Cameron: He's not smiling. Dr. Chase: I wonder if he has teeth.
    • House: (to Cameron) A little whorish to kiss and stab.
    • Dr. Foreman: We just told you you're not going to die. You should be making out with Cameron.
    • Dr. Foreman: You're right: I don't like you. House: Sure, now that I'm not dying.
    • House: (grabbing Cuddy's ass) One small feel for man, one giant ass for mankind.
    • House: Did you shower together? Cameron and Chase: No! House: Double negative. It's a yes.
    • House: (to Cameron) If you want a sperm sample, come back without the needle.

  • Notes

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    • International Air Dates: The Netherlands: September 20, 2007 on SBS6 Greece: December 29, 2007 on Star Channel The Czech Republic: March 3, 2008 on TV Nova Germany: March 4, 2008 on RTL Sweden: May 13, 2008 on TV4 Belgium: October 12, 2008 on 2BE
    • Hugh Laurie was nominated for the Emmy of Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series for his performance as Dr. Gregory House in this episode.
    • The first song that House plays on the piano and Patrick repeats is "I Don't Like Mondays" by the Boomtown Rats. The classical piece Patrick performs on stage is Beethoven's Waldstein Sonata (No. 21 in C major, Op. 53, Allegro con brio). The song playing when Patrick is having the internal EEG is "Rainy Day Lament" by Joe Purdy. The song playing during the closing scenes is "See The World" by Gomez. When House tests Patrick's piano playing ability with the key pad, he plays "The Entertainer" composed by Scott Joplin. When Patrick is having his musical MRI, the music being played is the third movement (Scherzo) of the Symphony in C by Georges Bizet. When Patrick plays the tune on his leg, he is playing along to Bizet's Piano Sonata No. 21 in C Major, Op. 53 Waldstein: Rondo (Allegretto moderato, Prestissimo).
    • The opening credits are omitted for this episode, and the words "House M.D." flash up with a piano note struck in the background. The stars are then billed once the episode begins, followed by the "created by" billing, and the guest stars and crew as normal.

  • Allusions

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    • Dueling Banjos When House proves Dr. Foreman that Patrick's right side of the brain is working he plays a part from "The Entertainer." by Scott Joplin. This was one of the most popular pieces of music of the Ragtime era and was rediscovered by the public in the movie, "The Sting."
    • House: One small feel for man, one giant ass for mankind. This is a (slightly misquoted) allusion to when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon and said, "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind".
    • House: They're under the name "Luke N. Laura." The alias House uses for his medical records is an allusion to the "supercouple" Luke Spencer and Laura Webber Spencer on the American soap opera General Hospital, a favorite show of House.

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