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Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Dr. Eric Foreman
Dr. Gregory House
Dr. James Wilson
Dr. Robert Chase
Dr. Allison Cameron
Trivia: The name of the hospital canteen is revealed as "The Grill."
House deduces that Lucille has been cheating on her husband from the color of her children's eyes. Both Lucille and her husband have brown eyes while most of their children have blue. Brown eyes are a dominant trait, but we know that Lucille must have the gene for both brown and blue eyes or else none her children could have blue eyes. Theoretically her husband could have the same mix of genes and then every child would have 25% chance of having blue eyes, which--unlikely as it is--could account for the majority of children with blue eyes.
House wrote "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" on his dry erase board and put his marker down. Then, the camera pans the room and Chase gives his theory as to why the girl did that. We then see the "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" circled on the board (but House put his marker down earlier). They argue for a few minutes with "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" circled. House tells Cameron & Chase to give her medicine. We see the board again and "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" is not circled.
House: Who would you fire?
Dr. Cameron: No one.
House: Not an option.
Dr. Cameron: If everyone took a pay cut and put in a few more hours, we could all stay for the same amount of money.
House: Figures you'd try and come up with a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is, the world doesn't work that way just 'cause you want it to.
Dr. Cameron: Figures you'd stall and refuse to deal with the issue. Problem is, the world doesn't go away just because you want it to.
Dr. Cameron: I apologize if it looked like we weren't devoting our full attention to your daughter, but I assure you that we...
Mrs. Simms: Oh please, save your pathetic insincerity for your boyfriend.
House: You're wrong! She is in fact pathetically sincere.
House: Men are pigs - you have nothing to worry about. They will pretty much have sex with anyone - young, old, heavy, thin, complete strangers, relatives.
House: No, there's no time to think! Say the first thing that comes to your head.
Dr. Chase: She's fat.
Dr. Foreman: Enough already! We get it! You hate fat people!
House: You have kids! How novel! That changes everything. So if Mommy has heartburn, one of them might catch on fire.
Foreman: Have you seen the latest research?
Chase: Yes, I have. What I haven't seen lately is a kid eating an apple or riding a bike. You Americans can't even compete with the rest of the world in basketball anymore, unless, of course, it's the type you play with a remote control on a big screen TV.
House: Wait! Are you going to let him say that? He insulted our basketball teams!
Dr. Cameron (on taking diet pills): I can't believe she was that desperate.
House: Yeah, I'm sure that if everyone I knew hated me, I couldn't bear to look at me. I wouldn't go so far as to shoplift.
Ms. Ayers: I understand, it's just, well, Jessica really doesn't have any friends.
Foreman: Not one?
Ms. Ayers: I've tried to help, make the kids include her more, but kids can be -
Ms. Ayers: Heh, I was going to say jerks.
Chase: No, society tells you you have to be thin to be attractive. And guess what, that's what attractive means: that society likes looking at you.
Foreman: And you figure making her feel like crap would do her a world of good?
Chase: Yeah, if it gets her off the couch!
Lucille: This is what a woman is supposed to look like. Okay, we're not just skin and bones. We have flesh. We have curves.
House: You have little people inside you.
Chase: She's morbidly obese. The "morbid" part of that raises alarms.
Foreman: Come on, it takes decades to eat your way into a heart attack.
Chase: Doesn't take decades to kill yourself. If I was that fat, I'd be pretty tempted to knock back a bottle of pills.
Cuddy: You need to get rid of one of your people.
House: Absolutely. As soon as I do performance reviews. And then review the reviews, of course. Because a decision like this can't be made without proper, you know, review. Shouldn't take longer than a month, maybe two. Four at the most, unless it gets complicated.
Mr. Hernandez: Tell her it's cancer – you obviously don't have a problem with lying.
House: Oh – way to win me over.
House: Even if I was Dr. House, physician-patient confidentiality protects me from annoying conversations.
House: Why would you support someone who screws up?
Dr. Cameron: Because I'm not insanely insecure. And because I can actually trust another human being. And I am not an angry misanthropic son of a bitch.
House: Sorry - you said you weren't angry.
House: You wear a bikini now?
Lucille: Yeah - you have a problem with that?
House: No. I've never gone swimming with you.
Dr. Cameron: No plastic surgeon in his right mind is going to give a 10-year old liposuction.
Dr. Chase: Have you ever met a plastic surgeon who was in their right mind?
House: I'm thinking I can convince Vogler it'll be more cost-efficient to keep all of them.
Dr. Wilson: You should be able to pull that off. Most billionaires aren't very good with numbers.
House: It will be more cost-efficient once I grab Cameron's ass, call Foreman a spade, and Chase... well, I'll grab his ass too.
Dr. Chase: Obesity isn't something you just grow out of.
Dr. Foreman: I take it you've never seen a baby.
Lucille: I'm not pregnant!
House: Sorry, you don't get to make that call unless you have a stethoscope. Union rules.
Lucille: It's like my heart is on fire. Like it's, oh I don't know, like...
House: Hmm. Sounds almost like heartburn.
Lucille: So can you give me something?
House: Like a thesaurus?
House: You ever seen an infected pierced scrotum?
Dr. Cuddy: Uh, no, but I know a few people on whom I'd like to see it happen.
Dr. Foreman: Ten-year-olds do not have heart attacks. It's got to be a mistake.
House: Right. The simplest explanation is she's a 40-year-old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on.
Song in the closing scene is "Got to Be More Careful" by Jon Cleary.
House: On what? Sharon's plan for Gaza?
House wittingly references the ongoing plight in the Middle East between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Ariel Sharon was the then-Prime Minister of the nation of Israel, and the Gaza Strip is a hot-bed area for focused violence and debate between the two peoples.
Foreman: It's some kind of game, House's own version of "Punk'd".
Dr. Foreman makes reference to the popular MTV show Punk'd, hosted by Ashton Kutcher, where elaborate practical jokes are staged on other celebrities.
Dr. Foreman: Kids in my neighborhood used to call me 'Rerun.'
Forman is referencing What's Happening!!, and the character Fred 'Rerun' Stubbs, played by Fred Berry.
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