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(Cuddy looks to the floor and finds a litter box)
Dr. Cuddy: I told you to get rid of "death cat."
House: Do you see a cat?
Dr. Cuddy: I see a litter box.
(House grabs his cane)
House: This is a disability, Dr. Cuddy. Can't make it to the men's room on time.
Dr. Cuddy: You pee on the mice too?
House: Well, now you see the mice actually prove that I don't have a cat.
Dr. Cuddy: Are these... are these the genetically modified lab mice from oncology?
House: Genetically modified for tastiness.
-
Morgan: I had colds all winter.
House: Well, I've been in this room a while, but it's spring now, right?
-
House: The cat was not predicting deaths. It was just trying to keep warm.
Dr. Wilson: Yes, dead people are renowned for their warm glow.
-
Morgan: I don't smoke.
House: Fine. You don't want the seventh graders to think you're cool.
-
Kutner: You really lost all that money?
Taub: I don't care about the money. I just feel bad for Rachel.
Kutner: She married a guy in one situation and ended up with another. That's hard on anyone.
Taub: Thanks. Makes me feel much better hearing my wife's a gold digger.
-
Dr. Cuddy: I'll give you 24 hours.
House: Consecutive?
-
Morgan: This is the cat, Debbie. Have you heard of her?
House: Debbie. Sorry, but without a last name...
-
House: I'm waiting for a follow-up.
Dr. Cuddy: If you're talking about Mr. Kazden, he has a deceased sticker on his file. As do all the other follow-ups you have scheduled for today.
-
House: You ever try to pee on yourself in public? It's not easy.
Taub: Sorry, I rushed the Jewish frat. We peed in private.
House: For good reason.
-
House: Dammit.
Morgan: Please forgive me, I'm so sorry.
House: What are you worried about? You may have a night in jail for fraud. I have to go tell one of my employees he's right.
-
Morgan: A cat predicted my death.
House: Cats make terrible doctors. Oh no, wait, that's women. You're screwed.
-
(patient is following House)
House: If you're going to kill me and rape me, please do it in that order.
-
Kutner: Why are you pushing your crash cart?
House: Because patients sometimes crash, and they haven't invented a crash tractor for me to drive wildly around the hallways.
-
House: Who told you about the test? Taub?
Dr. Cuddy: I'll never say. But yes.
-
House: Hey, look, kids, therapy cat.
Billy: You're a liar. Therapy animals are dogs, not cats.
House: Aren't you feisty?
-
Dr. Wilson: Or, you're starting to give a crap what other people think. Which is just another way of saying you give a crap about other people.
House: I'd love to hear more of your theory, but I don't give a crap.
-
House: Oh my God, the death cat is attacking your legs. You're going to die.
Kutner: Maybe it has something to do with that little red dot dancing around down there.
House: Oh my God, the death laser is attacking your legs. You're going to die.
-
House: Here, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.
Dr. Foreman: Say "puss" one more time. It's the sixth "puss" that really does it.
-
Dr. Wilson: I've gotta stop telling you my theories. You always just try to prove me wrong.
House: You mean the theory about Cuddy's ass getting bigger during the full moon? I confirmed that one. Photos on my blog.