House

Dr. Wilson: Fake low blood sugar. Now that's acting.

Dr. Wilson: You don't walk out of a room with ten milligrams of Haldol in your system, you don't walk at all. Dr. Foreman: It was ten milligrams, I gave it to her... Dr. Cuddy: It doesn't matter! Bacterial meningitis, highly contagious, if she is out of the hospital, we are so liable. Dr. Wilson: Not to worry. She'll be dead before she can kill anybody.

House: Wrong coat. The cape's in the closet, I had it cleaned. Dr. Foreman: Funny.

Dr. Chase: Why are we on this case? Dr. Cameron: Because Wilson asked House to do him a favor. Dr. Chase: I think House just wants to prove she's sick so Foreman will be wrong. Dr. Cameron: (with a sigh) Oh, you boys.

House: You gonna save her? Dr. Foreman: In her comics, Mr. Fury lives in Sloan Harbor. The night she came in, she was at a rave at 1408 Sloan Street. House: You've been reading. My, how you've changed. Dr. Cuddy: You are a doctor; do what doctors do. Pick up the phone, dial 911 and a cop on the other end does what cops do and finds the missing person! I assume the rest of you have doctor things to do. (to House) I know you do.

House: And you still think nothing's wrong with her. Dr. Foreman: Well, nothing's changed. House: We almost killed her–-that's different.

Dr. Cameron: A twitch could indicate a brain tumor. Dr. Foreman: Or about a dozen other things. Come on, there's two things homeless people are good at-–getting sick, and running scams. If you're so worried about it being a brain tumor, get her an MRI. When she's clear on that, then you can bounce her out of here. Dr. Wilson: Well, you've got her all figured out. Dr. Foreman: I've known a lot more homeless people than you have. Dr. Wilson: Yes, you've got that going for you.

Dr. Foreman: A tuberculoma doesn't give you a temperature of 105. Dr. Chase: Then it's a tuberculoma and something else. Dr. Wilson: The "something else" is going to melt her brain. House: "Poach." Better metaphor.

Dr. Foreman: Okay. Even if she's not faking, what's so fascinating about this case? House: At the moment, how much you don't want me to take it. That's pretty fascinating.

Dr. Foreman: Okay. Why are we on this case--just because Wilson asked? House: Do I need a better reason? Dr. Foreman: Most people wouldn't, you do.

House: And what is the treatment for advanced ovarian cancer? Dr. Foreman: Pine box.

House: Vomit.... it's still moist. What do you think, maybe a couple of days old?

Dr. Wilson: Didn't we have a conversation about friendship? House: Yeah – I had some follow-up questions.

Julia: I thought you were supposed to be listening to our patient histories? House: No, I'm supposed to be teaching you. If I can do that without listening, more power to me.

Chris: You're reading a comic book. House: And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. Oh, I'm sorry--I thought we were having a "state the obvious" contest. I'm competitive by nature.

House: Okay, you two – grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.

Dr. Wilson: Did your pager really go off, or are you ditching the conversation? House: Why can't both be true?

Dr. Wilson: You know, in some cultures it's considered almost rude for one friend to spy on the other. Of course, in Swedish the word "friend" can also be translated as "limping twerp."

Dr. Wilson: You really don't need to know everything about everybody. House: I don't need to watch The O.C., but it makes me happy.

House: Your turn. You gonna tell me why this case? Dr. Wilson: She's my new girlfriend. I'm having a tattoo designed. I was hoping you could find out her name. House: So she's just another sick person that kindly Dr. Wilson has made sure doesn't get lost in the big, ugly system. Dr. Wilson: Yes, I forgot. I need a reason to give a crap. House: You're giving two craps. Dr. Wilson: The metric system always confuses me.

House: I hate to cite a cliché, but... Dad on the streets? Dr. Foreman: Dad's with Mom. House: They're both living on the streets?

Dr. Foreman: That's why you insisted on the MRI? So you could remove the surgical pin from her arm? House: You didn't think I was going to do it to save your sorry ass, did you?

House: Hey, (Foreman) knows more homeless people then any of us. Go check out the 'hood, dog.

Dr. Cuddy: I can't believe you authorized this. House: Really? It sounds exactly like something I'd do.

Dr. Wilson: He's wrong. House: Foreman is wrong? The neurologist is wrong? About a neurological problem?