Season 2 Episode 19

House vs. God

Aired Monday 9:00 PM Apr 25, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • House walks into the closed cafeteria to get coffee, turns on the espresso machine and gets himself a cup of coffee. It would take considerably longer for the machine to actually work after being turned off.

    • The first shot of House's potential straight flush had the deuce, four, six and eight of clubs showing. No hole card can complete the straight flush.

      In a subsequent shot, the eight has become the five of clubs.

    • Trivia: The tune that House plays on his piano partway through the episode is What a Friend We Have in Jesus.

  • Quotes

    • House: You have a gift... for manipulation.
      Dr. Wilson: I listen, I have an actual conversation with people, which shockingly does raise the odds that they'll be cooperative.
      House: That's what I'm saying. You read that kid, and you manipulated the hell out of him.

    • Dr. Chase: You say "won the lottery," he says "miracle."
      House: Yeah, the hand of God reached into this kid's pants, made him have sex, so he could scratch a rash, stick his fingers into some woman's face, and give her a few extra months. Come on, it's just another liar and manipulator.
      Dr. Wilson: Well nobody's as perfect as you are.

    • Dr. Foreman: His fever is 103° and rising, if we don't do something real soon, he's going to be chatting with God face-to-face real soon.

    • Dr. Wilson: Did you remember my DVD player?
      House: If you wanted it, you shouldn't have left it behind when you moved out.
      Dr. Wilson: Oh! I get it, it's a drag watching porn on VHS.
      House: I'll call you as soon as I'm done with it.

    • Dr. Foreman: So, you believe God might exist but you don't think about it? It's the most important issue ...
      Dr. Cameron: I think penguins might as well speculate about nuclear physics. Why are we having this conversation?
      Dr. Foreman: What? I'm curious.
      Dr. Cameron: You cannot tell someone they're your colleague, and not a friend, and then casually chat about the afterlife.

    • House: Faith; that's another word for ignorance, isn't it? I've never understood how people can be so proud of believing in something with no proof at all, like that's an achievement.

    • House: I fear for the human race. A teenager claims to be the voice of God and people with advanced degrees are listening.

    • House: You know, I get it that people are just looking for a way to fill the holes; that they want the holes; they want to live in the holes; and they go nuts when someone else pours dirt in their holes. Climb out of your holes, people!

    • Dr. Chase: How long have you been healing people?
      Boyd: You believe that's what I'm doing?
      Dr. Chase: I'd like to.
      Boyd: But you don't. Why do you always do things you don't want to do?
      (Chase looks busted)
      Boyd: It's okay; I don't expect a real answer.

    • House: Half the doctors who specialize in oncology turn into burnt-out cases but you... you eat neediness.
      Dr. Wilson: Lucky for you.

    • House: (to Wilson) You're a functional vampire. Sure, you're heroic and useful to society but only because it feeds you.

    • Boyd: God says you look for excuses to be alone.
      House: See, that is exactly the kind of brilliance that sounds deep, but you could say it about any person who doesn't pine for the social approval of everyone he meets, which you were cleverly able to deduce about me by not being a moron. Next time tell God to be more specific.
      Boyd: God wants you to invite Dr. Wilson to your poker game.

    • Boyd: Dad? You have to have faith in me...
      Walter: I have faith in the Lord. You, I trust... as much as you can trust a teenage boy.

    • Dr. Wilson: And that's why religious belief annoys you. Because if the universe operates by abstract rules you can learn them, you can protect yourself. If a Supreme Being exists he can squash you any time he wants.
      House: He knows where I am.

    • (doing introductions)
      House: Wilson! This is Dry Cleaner Guy. Tax Accountant. Guy from the bus stop. This is Wilson.
      Dry Cleaner: How come he gets a name?
      House: Seniority.

    • House: Don't talk to my patient.
      Dr. Wilson: What are you talking about?
      House: You get all huffy when my patient stumbles into yours in the hallway, but you've got no qualms about chatting my guy up.
      Dr. Wilson: This is fun, it's like Password. Keep talking, I'll jump in when I get a clue what the hell you're talking about.

    • Dr. Wilson: House! Why the hell did you let an unstable patient wander the hallways?!?
      House: His leash broke.

    • House: Isn't it interesting that religious behavior is so close to being crazy we can't tell it apart.

    • House: He is not a saint. He figures out what's going on in people's lives by watching, listening, deducing...
      Dr. Wilson: And you're worried about trademark infringement?
      House: Then he passes on advice from God so he can watch them jump. It's a power trip.
      Dr. Wilson: Ah, and there the similarities end.

    • House: So, you're a faith healer? Or is that a perjorative? Do you prefer something like "divine health management"?

    • Dr. Chase: You're going to talk to a patient?
      House: God talks to him. It'd be arrogant of me to assume I'm better than God.

    • House: God ever talk to you when you were in the seminary?
      Dr. Chase: Ummm... no.
      House: God's loss, our gain.

    • House: God talks to him!
      Dr. Chase: It's not psychosis, he's just religious, the only medical issue that showed up on the blood work is low sodium.
      House: No - you talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you - you're psychotic.

    • House: Got to go – building full of sick people. If I can hurry, maybe I can avoid them.

    • Boyd: The nurses talk about you a lot.
      House: Ah, don't believe them – I keep a sock in my pants.

    • Dr. Wilson: Excuse me – I have a friend with...boundary issues.

    • Dr. Wilson: Can this wait five minutes?
      House: Is she dying?
      Dr. Wilson: Yes…
      House: Before the end of this consult?
      Dr. Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness.

    • House: You would let this kid die just to get into a stupid poker game?
      Dr. Wilson: You'd let him die to keep me out?

    • Dr. Chase: (to House) The honor of working for you is not worth a felony charge.

    • Dr. Wilson: House, you God made you.

    • Dr. Foreman: God would probably want you to take the stick out of your butt and get over this.
      Dr. Cameron: If there is some higher order running the universe, it's probably so different from anything our species can conceive there's no point in even thinking about it. But I doubt He gives a damn about my butt.

  • Notes

    • This episode was nominated for a Humanitas Prize for 60 Minute Category.

    • International Air Dates:
      The Netherlands: May 10, 2007 on SBS 6
      Bulgaria: June 11, 2007 on NOVA
      The Czech Republic: October 1, 2007 on TV Nova
      Belgium: October 25, 2007 on KanaalTwee
      Finland: January 3, 2008 on MTV3

    • Music: The song that Boyd sings while wandering through the hospital is "Go Tell It on the Mountain", a Christmas carol.

    • Music: Oh Happy Day by Ladysmith Black Mambazo and My Journey to the Sky by Sister Rosetta Tharpe,Teardrop by Massive Attack,White Palms by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

    • Lisa Edelstein's only dialogue this week is in a five-second scene with fifteen words: "They've withdrawn permission for the surgery. I've put the lawyers on it... her tumor shrank?"

  • Allusions

    • House: How many times can you hit pause at the part where Lindsay Lohan wins the spelling bee? What is it about girls who can spell?
      The movie House and Wilson are referring to is the 2004 Mark Waters' film Mean Girls.

    • Dr. Wilson: This is fun, it's like Password.
      Talking about the game show Password, which premiered in 1961 and ran through 1966, and several versions have started up since. Allen Ludden hosted the game, where one partner had to use one-word clues to get his partner to say a particular "password."

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