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House: Two successful surgeries, two lives saved. I'm over my quota. Can I have next week off?
Dr. Cuddy: Two family members assaulted.
House: It was self-defense.
Dr. Cuddy: You baited him.
House: You're right. I was asking for it. The low-cut blouse, the do-me pumps.
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Dr. Cuddy: Go see Stacy.
House: We gave him EPI. He's fine.
Dr. Cuddy: You need a lawyer. Go see Stacy. You hit a patient.
House: Four words, two mistakes. He's not a patient and I didn't hit him.
Dr. Cuddy: Of course you didn't. Go see Stacy.
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Stacy: Okay, I blow my smoke into the vents so Mark doesn't know.
House: I always knew it.
Stacy: Bluffing!
House: You started two weeks after my surgery. Menthols, then lights after a month.
Stacy: Why didn't you say anything?
House: 'Cause it helped me monitor your misery level. One trip outside was a good day, upwards of six you were in hell.
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Dr. Chase: ...I thought you'd change your mind on getting those drinks.
Dr. Cameron: Come on in.
Dr. Chase: There's this new place on campus. . .(Cameron kisses him) Are you high?
Dr. Cameron: Uh-huh. (kissing him again)
Dr. Chase: I thought they disposed of the drugs.
Dr. Cameron: Not all of them. (unbuttoning his shirt)
Dr. Chase: Slow down. Your pupil's are dialated.
Dr. Cameron: Come on Chase don't be a good guy on me now. (kisses her)
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House: Steve McQueen without hair? It's a blessing he died young.
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Wilson: Sooo... now you've gotta drum up another excuse to be around the love of your life. Could hit another patient.
House: Naah. Don't like to repeat myself. People will say I'm formulaic.
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House: I am not treating you.
Kalvin: Because you're a closet case? (looks at House and Wilson)
Dr. Wilson: We're...not together.
House: He's so self-loathing.
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Dr. Cameron: Why do you have a rat?
House: Jealous?
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House: Meanwhile, (Stacy) can't stop thinking about…I can't read that – is she obsessed with a "gray horse," or me?
Dr. Wilson: It says she thinks you're an annoying jerk.
House: It's a pet name
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Dr. Wilson: (to House) Now you've got the proof you need. Just take those personal psych records to Cuddy – that'll show her Stacy is out of control.
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House: Now let go of my cane before it becomes your new boyfriend.
Kalvin: Honey, I will marry it if you take my case.
House: Congress says you can't.
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Stacy: You don't treat him, he charges you with assault.
House: Just because he says I hit him doesn't make it true. Watch – I'm surrounded by naked cheerleaders. (nothing happens) See?
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Mark: What’s going on?
House: It’s not what you think. I know it looks like we’re cleaning dishes, but actually we’re having sex.
Stacy: We’re working.
Mark: Wow, wish I’d become a doctor. This place would be spotless.
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Dr. Wilson: Trying to win Stacy back by killing an animal. Very caveman.
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Dr. Cameron: I have fun.
Dr. Chase: She has some scheduled for February.
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(over the phone)
Dr. Foreman: Bad time? Where are you?
House: At your girlfriend's place. Ignore the moaning and squeaking.
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House: Gotta go – it's killing time.
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Kalvin: This is none of your business.
House: You should have thought of that before you stalked me. Now I'm interested.
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Dr. Cameron: So you always use a condom?
Dr. Foreman: Uhhh, yeah.
House: Brother's on the down low... got to.
Dr. Foreman: I'm not ready for any Foreman juniors yet.
Dr. Cameron: You?
House: Working girls - they're sticklers. You're not going to poll Chase?
Dr. Chase: I'm not an idiot.
House: Obviously not. Who doesn't sleep with a drugged-out colleague when they have a chance?
-
House: Okay.
Dr. Cuddy: That's it, "okay"? No name-calling, no squawking, no rending of garments.
House: I like this t-shirt.