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Ezra: I always wanted to know what's there on the other side.
House: Nothing.
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(after House has reeled off a list of tests and investigations to perform)
Dr. Foreman: All of that in 24 hours?
House: Nah. Whatever you don't get done you can finish at the autopsy.
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Dr. Cameron: Wait, there's actually another doctor you admire?
House: I... admire a lot of doctors. 'Course most of them look a lot better in knee socks than Ezra Powell, but seeing as they can all breathe...
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House: Bad news fast. Good news you can take your time.
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Dr. Wilson: Worried about meeting your one-patient-a-week quota?
House: I'm a cripple, remember? Accommodations must be made.
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House: Come on, he's old, sick, tiny! We can do whatever we want to him!
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House: He's got fluid in his lungs! Whatever are we gonna do?! Oh yeah, now I remember; put him on a treadmill, and run him like one of his rats on a wheel.
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(to Cameron)
House: You do know that you can't really pierce me with your stares!
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Ezra Powell: I don't regret what I did. Informed consent... patient rights... holds back research.
Dr. Cameron: (slices off a piece of Powell's skin without anesthetic)
Ezra Powell: (cries out in pain) Augh! What the hell are you doing?!
Dr. Cameron: Informed consent is holding back our diagnosis.
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(speaking for a hidden microphone)
House: How right you are, Dr. Cuddy! We also don't pad our bills, swipe samples from the pharmacy, or fantasize about the teenage daughters of our patients, either.
Dr. Cuddy: True; better be true; and you're a pig.
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Ezra: Dr. Chase said my calcium is normal.
House: Hmmm, we call him "Dr. Idiot."
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House: Wow! You guys look like crap!
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House: I thought you were only supposed to put on a pound a week in your last trimester.
Dr. Cuddy: I'm not pregnant.
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Dr. Wilson: How's Ezra Powell?
House: Resting comfortably.
Dr. Wilson: Hm, that's not what Cameron says.
House: I hate practicing medicine in high school.
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House: Don't go towards the light. You'll fall and break your hip!
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House: What's the largest organ?
Dr. Chase: Skin.
House: We'll need to get a piece.
Dr. Foreman: Sure, we'll just wait until he leaves his room without his skin, sneak in and take a piece.
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Ezra: Are you a man of your word or not?
House: No, as a matter of fact, I'm not.
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House: Been having any anal sex with IV drug users lately?
Mark: Of course not! I'm married.
(House looks at Mark's daughter)
House: Think she might have been having… ?
Mark and Ali: (in unison) No!
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Dr. Cameron: I can't do this...
House: Drama queen!
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House: What have you been doing all night?
Dr. Cameron: Jello shots and wild sex, what else?
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Ezra: I don't want to live hooked to machines.. too weak to wipe my own ass.
House: Why would you want to wipe your own ass when you can have someone do it for you?