House Season 7 Episode 9

Dr. Wilson: You have to go. Your girlfriend's birthday? It's not even a question.
House: She has one every year. How often do you break up with the love of your life? Okay, for you, it's more often than most, but still...
Dr. Wilson: I'm a big boy. I think I'll survive.

Taub: I was mugged once. When I saw the gun, my legs went out.
Dr. Chase: I always thought it was fight or flight. Didn't know it was fight or flight or faint.

(about a billboard poster of Taub)
House: We finally know what Tuab would look like if he were life-size.

Masters: Why is your assumption of his guilt more valid than my assumption of his selflessness?
House: Because my assumption is backed up by millions of men, and Taub, who cheated on their wives.

Arlene: I wish that you would take a second look. I'm tired all the time, and when it's cold I get this weird pain in my shoulder.
House: I have a pain in my leg. You don't hear me complaining... except for just now.
Arlene: How do doctors get this idea you're better than everyone else?
House: Probably all that pulling people back from the brink of death, it's just a guess.
Arlene: My own daughter is a doctor. She makes a hobby of dismissing my concerns.
House: She sounds smart.
Arlene: Did she tell you to say that?
House: I've never met your daughter.
Arlene: That's hard to believe, since you're currently shtupping her.

Dr. Cuddy: House… I need you to come to that dinner for two hours. Keep your mouth shut, and behave like an adult. Yes, you will be in Hell, but I will feel better having you there. That is what a relationship is. We average our misery.